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[Series: Questions from Everyone – Part 13] I want to get back together with him, but if only this one thing could change… If I believe “he can change,” will he change?

I'd like to extract and share portions of questions we've received from our consultation form that seem like they could be helpful to many. (The content of the questions is occasionally modified to ensure the privacy of individuals.)

From M

If I make up my mind, will he change? I really love him, but there's one thing I want him to change. I just can't accept it, and I want to reconcile with him if he changes that one thing.

"Believing it will happen, makes it happen" - Is this effective in changing him too?

Hello, I'm Iruru from LoveSync Attraction.

For those who are here for the first time, let me recap: The law of the subconscious mind is, "What you believe, you become." Once you've made up your mind, you are already the person whose desires have been fulfilled. That's all there is to it.

We received a question about this during the recent TwitCasting, and it seems like many of you wonder, "If believing makes it happen, does that mean he will change if I believe he will?" What are your thoughts on this, everyone?

The subject of "What you believe, you become" is yourself.

First of all, the subject of "What you believe, you become" is yourself. You become what you believe because you think that way. Therefore, you cannot change him.

However, by believing that "you become that way," you may feel that the circumstances surrounding you have changed as a result.

For example, if you and I were in love and happy, and I thought, "We're so in love!" and then we got back together. After reconciling, even though he was supposed to be unfaithful, he completely changed and became devoted to me! In such cases, I might think, "Wow, he even changed the personality trait I wanted him to change."

Or, if you and I were in love and happy, and I thought, "We're so in love!" and then he was living with a new girlfriend, but somehow he broke up with her and started dating me instead. In situations like this, I might think, "The environment and circumstances changed, so we were able to date. That's great."

The determined thought is, "He and I are in love and happy!" Therefore, when making up your mind, I hope you decide from a perspective centered on yourself, such as "I am in love and happy with him," rather than a perspective focused on him, like "He will break up with his new girlfriend!"

Do you truly believe in the version of yourself where things have worked out?

At LoveSync Attraction, we always say that once you've made up your mind, just enjoy and be the version of yourself where things have worked out.

What I'd like you to think about for a moment is this: if you were already the version of yourself where everything has come true, would you think, "I want him to change"?

Most likely, you wouldn't think that.

So, I'd like you to consider what the best, happiest version of yourself would be like and decide with that in mind.

There's no need to focus on negative things.

Continuing to think "I want him to change" may, from the perspective of the only law of the subconscious mind, "What you believe, you become," perpetuate the situation of continuously desiring change. Furthermore, the reason you want him to change is precisely because he hasn't changed yet, which means it's rooted in the current reality of unfulfillment. Deciding while fixating on an unfulfilled reality may seem like a detour, especially when it comes to manifesting desires through the subconscious mind.

Simply deciding on the best state you envision for yourself. Regardless of how he is right now, deciding to be in love and happy with him alone seems simpler and more effective, don't you think?

If you want someone to change so much, wouldn't it be better to consider being with someone else...?

Also, if you find it so hard to accept, personally, I think it might be better to consider someone else.

Because, for example, even if someone were to say, "I want Iruru to change this one thing before we reconcile!" I would feel restricted and uncomfortable.

Having said that, I used to have a lot of things I wanted him to change in the past. I used to tell him things like, "I want you to do it this way," "I want you to do it like that," "I want you to stop doing this," and we would argue a lot. Back then, I thought it was natural for him to adapt if we were in a relationship, but looking back, I realize I was imposing quite a lot of restrictions on my partner.

So, I understand the feeling of wanting someone to change.

Even if there are things you don't like, but you still love him, regardless of whether he changes or not, just decide to be "in love and happy with him!" The rest is to continue enjoying your daily life as the version of yourself where everything has worked out!

Here's the explanatory video. I also explain this on YouTube. If you'd like, please take a look here too!

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