Until the self-critical, Iruru learns to practice self-love…

Hello! This is Iruru. Today at 6:00 am on Voicy (May 30, 2023), I talked about my experience with self-love.

Is there anyone here who feels the same way? I think so, so I will tell you about it on my blog.

Voicy is here! Episode
#23: From Being Too Hard on Myself to Learning Self-Love.

Contents

elf-love is about loving yourself just the way you are.
Iru, who used to be so hard on herself.
I couldn' love myself
Do you think you can love yourself if you are working hard?
I can't love myself if I'm not trying my best.
The impact of “self-love” that loves existence itself
It's so easy to be accepted for who you are.
Voicyへの質問やメッセージもお待ちしています！

elf-love is about loving yourself just the way you are.

Self-love is quite literally loving yourself. It might sound like you need to do something extraordinary, but it can be as simple as boiling water, as I discuss in the video. I'll include the link to the video here as well.

お湯を沸かすだけでも、自愛！？

Iru, who used to be so hard on herself.

Funny enough, right after saying that but, I couldn't see boiling water as an act of self-love. I used to think it was an incredibly high hurdle.

In LoveSync Attraction, we explain that desires come true in the subconscious mind by saying, `Because you think so, it becomes so.

When you apply this to relationships, it becomes "I believe we will be deeply in love, so we will be deeply in love," and "I believe we will be deeply in love" is what you think.

If what you believe becomes reality, then what you think is incredibly important.

Self-love is also about anchoring yourself, I think.

However, I know that some people, like my former self, may find it too daunting.

In the past, I went through a phase where I tried various things like seminars and consultations, and during that time, I had engaged a consultant who focused on helping people lead authentic lives.

During one of our sessions, they told me, "You're too hard on yourself," which surprised me. I had never been aware of it, but it made me curious. So, I continued with the consultations and received various sessions.

As I continued talking to this consultant, it was good for me to feel that it's okay to love myself.

Looking back, I believe this event was the catalyst that made me start focusing on self-love.

I couldn' love myself

Until then, I couldn't really like myself. I kept criticizing myself all the time.

I don't like this part of my face. My style is all wrong. I have to be better at my job.

It was like, "This is bad, that is bad!"

It was so negative that it would get me down. However, I would criticize myself and then encourage myself, thinking that if there are areas that need improvement, that means there's room for growth, so I have to work hard!

But back then, I couldn't say that I liked myself, with all my perceived flaws.

Do you think you can love yourself if you are working hard?

When I think now, there is really no bad point.

It's not that being unable to do something is bad, and sometimes the things you think are shortcomings can actually be perceived as strengths by others. However, at that time, I couldn't see it that way at all.

I have to lose more weight to become cute.

I have to become someone who can be more considerate and get along with everyone.

I had myself trapped in this kind of thinking.

However, the consultant praised me like「Iruru-san is already working hard and is great.」You amazing for working so hardand little by little, I started to recognize myself and it made me think, "If I'm working hard, can I practice self-love?

I can't love myself if I'm not trying my best.

Of course, it's a good thing to affirm the parts of yourself that can do something.

I liked the me that was working hard. I liked the me that was succeeding in my diet. I liked the me that was good at my job.

I liked the me that achieved my sales targets. I liked the me that received recognition at work. I liked the me that met deadlines. I liked the me that made lunch every day this week.

I liked the parts of me that could do things. But I couldn't accept the parts of me that couldn't do things.

The me that didn't receive recognition at work was no good.

The me that didn't meet deadlines was no good. The me that couldn't push through at work was no good. The me that couldn't make lunch was no good. That's how it was back then.

I liked the me that could do things and was working hard. But I disliked the me that couldn't do things or wasn't trying hard enough. Still, I thought I was practicing self-love at that time.

The impact of “self-love” that loves existence itself

The turning point for me in terms of self-love was when Meguru said something like this during our conversation:

めぐる

"Refusing to love yourself unless you can do something is a surefire way to lose confidence as soon as you can't do it anymore. Instead, how about thinking that you're wonderful just for being there, without any conditions?"

At that moment, I was really surprised, and I thought「is it okay to recognize self-love just by existing?」.

I initially didn't understand it at all when Meguru told me that just being there without having to do something made me wonderful. Because I used to think that if I wasn't doing something, I was no good.

But as I started to believe that I was fine just as I am, flaws and all, without any conditions, I felt a tremendous weight lifting off my shoulders.

It's so easy to be accepted for who you are.

So, it's very easy now, but back then I really didn't think so, so being told to accept myself as I am may feel like a really high hurdle for some people.

For such people, say things like, ``It's okay to not be accepted for who you are,'' or ``It's okay to be stuck in a situation where you're always failing,'' etc., and say things like, ``It's okay to be that way.'' I think it would be nice to have a cod.