Hello, I'm going to translate your text into English:
This series will pick up and answer questions from the readers and YouTube viewers of LoveSync Attraction, which seem like they could be helpful to many. (The content of the questions is occasionally modified to ensure the privacy of individuals.)
Hello, I'm Iruru. Today's consultation is about a situation where someone becomes "unresponsive" during a relationship.
From S
Mr. S,
Mr. S,
We met on a marriage matchmaking app and started dating, but they suddenly went silent. Since we're in a long-distance relationship and can't meet often, I'm worried that this might be the end if we can't communicate.
- We're supposed to be in a relationship, but they're not responding!?
- In the first place, what frequency qualifies as "going silent"?
- In the realm of the subconscious mind, manifesting desires often boils down to the principle of "what you believe, you become."
- Becoming someone who can resolve the silence and reestablish communication?
- A period when I was fixating on the lack of communication and feeling distressed.
- Just being the version of myself where things have worked out.
We're supposed to be in a relationship, but they're not responding!?
We're supposed to be in a relationship, but they've gone silent.
"Could it be that they don't like me anymore?"
"Is this going to be a prolonged silence?"
These thoughts leave me feeling frustrated.
Iruru has experienced this too, so I completely understand the feelings!
What would all of you do in this situation? Even when you're trying your best to reconcile, facing the same situation can be quite distressing, right?
In the first place, what frequency qualifies as "going silent"?
However, before jumping to conclusions and labeling it as "going silent," it might be worth considering whether it genuinely qualifies as being unresponsive. The frequency of communication varies from person to person.
For example, in the context of using LINE, some people may not be comfortable with responding promptly and end up accumulating unread messages to the maximum limit of 999.
Others might prefer not to let messages pile up and aim to maintain a zero unread count.
Some individuals may not frequently check LINE and instead use platforms like Facebook or Instagram Messenger.
Some may primarily use their work phones and rarely open their personal ones, possibly resulting in uncharged devices.
Others might find it cumbersome to reply during a busy period and prefer emails over messaging apps.
Furthermore, some individuals may intend to reply at a later, more convenient time and use features like notifications on smartwatches or the top screen of their smartphones to quickly skim through messages without marking them as read.
In summary, communication habits vary greatly among people, so it's essential to consider these factors before concluding that someone is being unresponsive.
So, even if you think it's "going silent," it's quite common for the other person not to perceive it that way.
What you consider "going silent" might not be the same as what the other person perceives. Your "common sense" and their "common sense" could be different. Just by thinking this way, you might be able to break free from the ego's spiral of dwelling on negative thoughts.
On the other hand, some people might say, "We used to communicate regularly, but now they've gone silent.
In cases where you've met someone through online dating apps or at events like meetups or parties and have only interacted a few times, there might be worries that if you can't communicate personally, you might not be able to see each other again.
In such situations, it's easy to get more concerned when you start comparing it to the past. If you open a book on love psychology, you'll likely find plenty of "methods" to get back on track after going silent.
However, from a subconscious perspective, it doesn't really matter what the situation is. Even if you feel it's gone silent, the actions you take should be the same as usual. It's all about "what you believe, you become.
In the realm of the subconscious mind, manifesting desires often boils down to the principle of "what you believe, you become."
The only rule for realizing your desires in your subconscious mind is, "Because I think so, it will happen."
If you decide to be in love with him, you will be in love with him.
Your thoughts come first, and once you decide on your thoughts, you will become the person you are now. That's it.
Even if you decide you want to be in love with him, you may immediately think, ``I can't hear from him right now, so it's impossible.''
This kind of "thoughts that semi-automatically judge and interpret based on past memories and ideas" is called ego, but such ego just ignores it and only values the thoughts that you want to fulfill (or have come true). You want it.
Regarding your question, I can understand why people get caught up in the reality of ``losing contact'' and feel like ``we have to solve this problem quickly!'', but this is also due to ego. So let's leave it there for now.
What was the situation with him up until now, what kind of interactions did you have, how often did you see each other, did you not see each other, how long were you in a romantic relationship...
The past situation and the current situation have nothing to do with it.
Rather, it's the "I think" part of "I think so, so it will happen.
I want you to decide what kind of relationship you would have with him that would make you the happiest.
Becoming someone who can resolve the silence and reestablish communication?
When you are stuck in a state of no communication,“I’ll be the one who continues to have LINE rallies instead of not hearing from each other!”
“I’m so happy to hear from him so much!”
Some people try to set their thoughts focused on the reality in front of them.
It is up to each person to decide what they want, but the reason why I recommend setting it in the first place is that if you want to realize your desire in your subconscious mind, then all the processes involved will be in your subconscious mind. I think it's okay to leave it up to you.
At Home♡Ren, we don't think about the psychology of love, but rather talk from the perspective of realizing your desires subconsciously. Rather than focusing on the problem of "not receiving contact" and trying to solve each problem one by one, I think it would be quicker to just solve everything and be yourself. I think so.
Even if I don't hear from you, I might meet you by chance on the street, right?
Even if they don't contact you, it's okay as long as they're in love, right?
Are you married and in love with your boyfriend, but are you worried about him not contacting you? There aren't any, right?
All you have to do is decide what kind of person you want to be with him.
A period when I was fixating on the lack of communication and feeling distressed.
However, there was a time when I too would focus on the absence of communication, clutching my phone all day. When a message came from the other person, I'd reply immediately!
But after a certain amount of back-and-forth, the conversation would come to an end, and I wouldn't know when the next message would arrive.
During that time, I'd worry and fret, thinking, "Maybe it's over now," and sometimes, it would indeed end just as I feared.
Looking back, though, I realize that it was me who had the absolute certainty that "this is definitely the end." Well, of course, it would end with that mindset (laughs).
Back then, I used the exchange of messages as a way to gauge the other person's affection. So, I thought, "No messages = not interested, his level of liking me has decreased," and I found it extremely painful when messages didn't come.
Recently, I've stopped worrying about such things, and the difference between that time and now is simply this: "The frequency of communication has no bearing on how much he likes me, he genuinely thinks I'm special."
When I was preoccupied with his messages, even when I went out to enjoy a delicious lunch with friends or saw beautiful scenery during a trip, I was somewhat absent-minded, constantly wondering if I'd receive a reply on my phone or if it would be marked as read.
Looking back, I think this was rude to the people right in front of me, as I couldn't fully appreciate the enjoyable and happy moments.
Now, even if a message comes in, I've learned to prioritize what's right in front of me. I feel like I can enjoy every day much more than before, and I feel liberated from the bondage of constantly checking messages, experiencing a sense of freedom.
Just being the version of myself where things have worked out.
For those who are currently struggling with the absence of communication, the first step is to let go of self-imposed beliefs like "no communication means it's over." That's really all there is to it—just be the version of yourself where everything has worked out.
Moreover, I hope you can enjoy the life right in front of you to the extent that you don't even notice when a message arrives.
However, if you still find yourself obsessing over messages, it might be a good idea to try turning off notifications on your phone for a while.
You'd be surprised how much control phone notifications can have over us.
Additionally, something I've found useful lately is a smartwatch that can sync with apps and deliver notifications.
You don't necessarily need a high-end one like the Apple Watch, even a basic one that supports essential sports activities and can connect with some smartphone apps is sufficient.
While some high-end models allow you to reply directly from the smartwatch, opting for a simpler model without this feature might be better. With the ability to reply on your wrist, you might find it hard to resist responding, and that could keep you preoccupied.
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