Love techniques are based on the “unloved self,” while the subconscious mind is based on the “loved self.”

Today, we'll be talking about love techniques (love psychology) and realizing your desires through the subconscious mind.

The starting point for both is ``I want to make things work out with the person I'm interested in,'' but what's the difference? This is the story.

This was a question that just occurred to me, but when I dug into it, it turned out to be an incredibly deep story, so I'll write it down below. Too much work! I'm just praising myself, but I hope you'll stick with me till the end lol

The characteristics of dating techniques are influenced by the sender's subjectivity and the contemporary sense of time.

You know, there are love techniques and love psychology.

These techniques, and many more, are overflowing everywhere. I, too, occasionally come across articles like this by chance.

I might read them with a "Oh, that's interesting" kind of feeling. LoveSync Attraction, before the update, Iruru had been sending out a dating technique-related newsletter for a long time.

So I sometimes have the opportunity to look at archived articles. The other day, Iruru and I were discussing dating techniques and the characteristics of the psychology underlying them. After all, she was on the side of actually writing about it for a long time.

Based on her experience, we talked about various things, and the characteristics of dating technique articles seemed to be primarily summarized as follows.

This is for instance,

I think themes like "Should you be treated to a meal on a date, or should you split the bill?" can be easily understood, but there's a significant possibility that the perspective of the content creator is heavily influenced by whether they naturally think "you should be treated" or "you should split the bill." I believe it can be influenced by the content creator's subjectivity.

But I naturally thought, "Of course, that's how it is."

Treating someone to a meal or splitting the bill – there must be some psychology underlying these choices, but even if you understand the psychology, it still comes down to the individual's upbringing, current circumstances, and more. Taking all these factors into account, it's clear that the content creator's prior beliefs and convictions tend to influence whether they lean towards "you should be treated" or "you should split the bill."

Furthermore, there's the matter of the zeitgeist, the spirit of the times. If we go back to the distant past, like the Bubble Era in Japan, it might have been even more common to expect to be treated.

At that time, what was considered normal – or conventional – often became part of the common sense, so there's definitely an aspect influenced by the prevailing zeitgeist.

When I thought about this, I suddenly realized something significant. Psychological aspects and tactics related to dating, love, and relationships tend to be more strongly influenced by the perspectives of those who are desperately seeking solutions to their relationship challenges.

I guess that it's the base for you.

Love techniques are based on the premise that "right now, you are not loved.

Please take a look at the diagram here.

This is a simple summary of the differences between the mentality of love techniques and the mentality of the subconscious mind.

In discussions about love techniques, there are often methods on how to make him like you, and in some cases, it's about how to control the other person. It can involve strategies like, "If you do this, he'll react this way!" or "You need to change yourself right now."

Essentially, it's all about wanting to change something entirely on your own. More specifically, it's based on the idea that you want to change something because you currently believe that you are not loved.

In contrast, the subconscious mind operates on an extremely simple principle. The subconscious mind is all about "you become what you think." So, let's think in terms of already being in a state where everything is going well. That's it. Thinking that everything is already going well presupposes that you are already loved.

When you visualize the relationship between self-effort and relying on others, the underlying assumption of "not being loved" becomes clear!

This story is,

I thought this could be another way to look at it. So, I wondered if I could further systematize it, and I was able to do that! Here's the diagram. Here we go!

The higher up on the vertical axis, the more it leans toward the subconscious mind, and the lower down, the more it leans toward dating techniques. On the horizontal axis, moving left indicates "not being loved," while moving right indicates "being loved."

Remarkably, the relationship between the subconscious mind and dating techniques, as well as the balance between self-effort and external factors, becomes quite clear when visualized!

Those who think that you want to do something with love techniques are as I said before, they have the premises that they don't be loved for the first place.

Because, you want to 「catch his heart because you are not in good situations right now.
(Oh, of course, this doesn't apply to those who are just watching for entertainment purposes, no hard feelings.)

This corresponds to the "Not yet achieved" in the bottom-left.

On the other hand, in LoveSync Attraction, the subconscious is all about "thinking it, so it becomes." If we apply this to love, it would be "I think I'm in love with him, so I become loving with him."

That's why I think it's important to set the ``feelings'' of being ``lovey-dovey with him'', which I think I'm saying at the level of my ears. Applicable.
It's the pink heart mark part.

The idea of setting your intentions is not only reliant on external factors but also assumes you're already in a favorable state of being loved. It's quite clear, right? 😄

If you just want to get back together, there is a possibility that you can do something on your own!

Sure, please go ahead and share more about this diagram!

Meguru often says, ``You don't have to rely on your subconscious mind, you can try to do something on your own.''

I understand your perspective. Sometimes, simplifying things and viewing them with a more relaxed attitude can be beneficial.

 

If you feel that "getting back together" can be seen as a straightforward process, that's entirely valid. It's important to keep a positive and open mindset when working towards your goals, as excessive stress and pressure can hinder progress.

Well, if you just get back together then, I believe that it's possible to transition directly from the "not being loved" assumption in the bottom left to the "being loved" in the bottom right using love techniques or any other methods.

 

So, in that sense, I am not denying love techniques or love psychology at all.
If only to get back together.

There are cases where it doesn't work even if you use other forces!?

And one more thing.

You can't do it anymore, it's your limit with my own efforts.

Even when you try to use external forces and think, "Let's rely on the subconscious!" in a scenario where the premise is "not being loved" or "not achieved," it falls into the category of "pretending to be there" in the upper-left corner. You could even call it "pretending."

So, when I look at the consultations, I think this situation is actually quite common.

It's just a matter of a slight difference, I believe.

I think you'll notice here that if the premise is ``I'm not loved,'' then if you do it on your own, it will become ``I haven't become'' in the bottom left, and if you rely on others, it will become ``I intended to become'' in the top left.

That's why I once again realized that Meguru is always telling me to keep in mind that I'm doing really well in videos and other videos, like I'm just remembering one thing every time, and to be in the upper right corner.

Isn't this the act of going out of your way to become what you intended to become in the top left corner, even though you have decided on your ``thoughts'' in the top right corner?

Isn't it ridiculous?

Not, I thought, I became.

Then it happened. No matter what anyone says.
That's enough.
What's wrong? ?
Don't move from there?

You should stay right in the upper right corner where your "thoughts (become)" are! That's what I always say.

By the way, even if you find it hard to detach from reality and end up in the upper left corner "pretending to be," don't worry, you have a powerful ally in imaging and meditation.

Meditation and visualization are natural allies for those who excel in them. While imagining all the aspects of being successful with him, it's easy for them to transition from the upper left corner, "pretending to be," to the upper right corner, "already successful." They move from "pretending to be" to "thinking (becoming)" without even realizing it.

(*Of course, some people may still use visualization to reinforce their state of "thinking (becoming)" when they are already in the upper right corner. There are always exceptions, and this is just a discussion of common tendencies.)

To build a long-lasting, healthy partnership with him in the future

So, you might have understood that love techniques (self-effort) aren't necessarily bad, but well, I must say, there are many challenging aspects to love techniques.

Moreover, in the case of dating techniques, it's possible to experience confusion when you are told to "adapt to him, make him like you" while also being told to be an independent woman.

This is because, as I mentioned earlier, not only is what the speaker says influenced by their upbringing and the circumstances they've been in, but it can also change with the times.

I mean, in today's world, it's quite clear that the values of "you should adapt to men, make them like you" are gradually shifting, right? So, it's possible that the speaker's statements can change over time.

However, with the subconscious mind, such changes are impossible.

When it comes to how you want to be together, whether it's mutual love, respecting each other even in old age, or being deeply cherished, it doesn't matter what it is.

I think there are aspects that are less influenced by the times, so to speak.

Furthermore,you just think. That's it. The end.

Furthermore, since external forces will somehow take care of it, you can live a normal life with peace of mind. Doesn't it seem like a good deal no matter how you look at it? 😉

To provide a bit more context, I believe that the desire to use dating techniques often stems from a desire to control the other person.

When you feel unloved and unfulfilled in the current situation, you might wonder if there's a way to manipulate the other person to meet your desires.

Of course, it's possible that you could still reconcile using such tactics. The reason I mentioned "if you're willing to reconcile" is because I can't help but wonder whether you can truly build a meaningful and healthy partnership if you're focused on controlling the other person.

Instead, I believe that striving for a relationship where both parties are deeply in love, respect each other, and are already in a positive state of being is the way to go. From a long-term perspective, such a relationship seems to offer the best partnership, making the subconscious mind a worthwhile investment, in my opinion. 😉