Reader Questions #19: We Have a Physical Relationship But I Want More

N.
I have one-sided feelings for him, and we occasionally meet and have physical relations.
He has a girlfriend and I sometimes hear him talking about her.
I tell myself I’m in a relationship with him! I try to think that way, but when I see him, reality hits me hard.

You’re Not Dating, But You Have a Physical Relationship?

When I read your questions, I see many of you in situations where you think “Isn’t this basically a relationship?” – yet you discover your partner has another girlfriend, or you have physical intimacy even though they’ve never actually asked you to be their girlfriend. Many people feel confused about this.

When you’re in that kind of atmosphere, I understand it’s hard to say no, or you don’t want to say no because you like them too. But what matters most is honoring what YOU want, not just reacting to what the other person is doing.

Your Desires Manifest Through Your Subconscious Beliefs

Subconscious manifestation works like this: “Because you believe it, it becomes so.“
I will be in love with him, because I believe I will be in love with him.
Whatever the current situation looks like, when you think “I want to be in love with him!” or “What do I want with this guy right now?” – just decide: “I will be in love with him.”

There’s no rulebook you have to follow. You just need to decide what you want.

If you decide to be in love with him, then it’s perfectly fine to have physical relations with him! But if you think “I want him to tell me we should start a real relationship, not just keep things casual!” or “I want to hear him say he wants to be with me,” then you might choose to hold off on the physical relationship.

Whether you say no to physical intimacy or continue it, the key is that it will happen because you believe it will.

As long as you stay true to what you want to create, your desire’s destination won’t change.

Do You Feel Confused After Being Physical?

I often hear from people who decided to have a physical relationship with him, but afterward their feelings start to waver.

• We have a physical relationship, but afterward he became cold and distant.
• He told me he actually has a girlfriend now!
• I was reminded there’s no way we’d ever get back together.
• He told me to find someone better.

And so on.

Even if you had a beautiful moment together, something hurtful might happen afterward that leaves you feeling sad.

My usual answer is this: if you decide to manifest your wish through your subconscious mind and become deeply in love with him, then as I mentioned above, you ignore these surface appearances, calm your emotions, ignore the ego that surfaces, and stay true to yourself. It will manifest.

But personally, I think if you find yourself feeling unsteady, it might be worth asking yourself: “Is this truly what I want to create?”

Because think about it. Is a man who has physical relationships with other women (including you) while he has a girlfriend really your dream man?

Or do you really want to be with a man who won’t call you his girlfriend even though you like him and are physically intimate?

If you still like him, that’s completely fine. There’s no right or wrong here, and no one needs to judge your choices.

Of course, it’s okay to manifest your dreams while your ego is acting up, and it’s okay to manifest while feeling shaky – I’m not saying feeling unsteady is bad.

However, if you’re having a hard time manifesting what you want, it’s possible you don’t actually want to create this, or that something feels off to you.

If you find yourself thinking “I like him, but maybe I don’t actually need him,” it might be good to carefully consider what kind of love you truly want to experience, and what kind of love would make you happiest.

Iruru