From Breaking Up to Getting Back Together: A 20-Something Woman’s Journey from “Him-Centered” to “Self-Centered”

You’re living with your boyfriend, things aren’t going well, you’re caught in a cycle of suspicion and fighting, and you want out of this situation. Today, I’m sharing a reconciliation story that will be incredibly helpful for you.

This is the experience of Msan, a woman in her 20s who knew an older man through a dating app and moved in with him, only to have a dramatic breakup. Yet in just one and a half months, she reconciled with him, and over the following eight months, they didn’t fight even once. She now describes their relationship as “even more lovey-dovey than when we first started dating.”

The Cohabitation Phase: A Cycle of Tolerance and Explosion

Msan and her boyfriend started out with a casual, playful approach to dating, but when Msan became serious, they decided to move in together. However, living together wasn’t smooth sailing at all.

“Looking back, I was holding back and tolerating things, and those suppressed feelings would keep building up and exploding,” Msan reflects.

Because her boyfriend had a wide circle of friends and gave off a party-boy image, deep down, Msan constantly felt “I’m not enough, I’m not enough.” She’d suspect him of cheating, and when evidence of infidelity actually emerged, they’d fight repeatedly.

The strong feeling of “I don’t want him to leave me” led her to focus only on “doing things that would make him happy.”

The Dramatic Breakup: “I Don’t Even Want to See Your Face”

After countless fights, her boyfriend had warned her “there won’t be a next time.” Then another major argument erupted. When her boyfriend broke up with her, Msan sobbed uncontrollably, threw a tantrum saying “I don’t want to break up,” and completely fell apart.

As a result, he told her “talking won’t change how I feel. I don’t even want to have a conversation. Just seeing your face makes me sick. This relationship will never go back to how it was.” Then he said he was going on a trip and didn’t come home for about a month and a half.

Before leaving for the trip, he even threw a parting shot: “Finally, I won’t have to see your face.” Msan felt like “I had fallen into hell. Everything, absolutely everything, was over.”

Meeting the Law of the Subconscious: A Turning Point

While searching for the keyword “reconciliation,” Msan discovered Homéren videos. The ones that had the biggest impact were:

• “Back to Basics! You Think It, So It Becomes True (Part 1 & 2)”
• “Space Collaboration Project! When You’re Concerned About Reality (Part 1 & 2)”

Through these videos, Msan gained crucial insight:

“Looking back, I think I was using a ‘reality-based’ approach where I’d tell myself ‘the boyfriend and I are lovey-dovey’ for the sake of reconciliation. So the feeling of ‘this isn’t manifesting’ came through strongly, and I couldn’t escape the negative loop.”

“Reality-based” here means trying to use your thoughts to change your current situation (being broken up). In contrast, “thought-based” means first deciding what you believe, and then reality follows.

A Major Shift in Consciousness: From “Making Him Happy” to “Making Myself Happy”

Msan shifted her focus from her boyfriend to herself and dedicated herself to healing. She hung out with friends, bought things for herself, went to her favorite hot springs—she completely pampered herself, constantly telling herself “good job, you’re doing great.”

But the most important change was in her perspective:

“Rather than just doing things I liked, I shifted from ‘doing things because I thought it would make him happy’ to ‘doing things because it makes me happy’—I changed my focus from him to myself.”

This shift from “him-centered” to “self-centered” was the pivotal point that transformed Msan’s life.

Using Visualization: Dating “The Perfect Boyfriend”

Since Msan was good at visualization, she created “the perfect boyfriend” in her mind. She loved shoujo manga and used the same feeling she had as a middle and high schooler, when she’d imagine herself in her favorite manga scenes.

When she went to a hot spring, she’d vividly imagine the two of them wearing matching yukata robes, buying sweets at the gift shop after their bath, and saying “this is delicious” together.

Sometimes thoughts of her real boyfriend would pop into her head, causing her heart to race or making her feel down. But each time, her inner “perfect boyfriend” would comfort her and help her reset her emotions.

Complete Consciousness Shift: Already in “Lovey-Dovey” Mode

Eventually, Msan experienced a decisive shift in her consciousness:

“Living in a self-prioritized world, I completely stopped paying attention to the reality of being broken up. I had this perfect boyfriend in my mind, right? I could hug him whenever I wanted, hold his hand and go on dates with him, so that was enough. I was already lovey-dovey!”

Somewhere along the way, her approach had shifted to “imagination-creation based”—”you think it, so it becomes true.” At this point, her mental state had already recovered, and her mood had become incredibly light.

Reconciliation Becomes Reality: His Dramatic Transformation

During the month he was away on his trip, there were a few text exchanges, but only about practical matters. They didn’t discuss the fight or reconciliation at all.

When he was about to return from his trip, Msan felt a little nervous, but she thought “I’ve handed the reconciliation over to my subconscious mind, my perfect boyfriend is already in my heart, and I’m having a great time being fulfilled right now.” So she felt incredibly light about it.

Then her boyfriend “came back a completely different person from the one who’d left a month earlier.” He actually faced her properly and wanted to spend more time talking with her.

Life After Reconciliation: More Lovey-Dovey Than Ever

About eight months after reconciliation, Msan’s report was remarkable:

“Despite all that fighting, we don’t argue anymore. We’re more lovey-dovey now than when we first started dating.”

Ego and negative thoughts still come up sometimes, but they happen far less frequently than before. When she feels like thinking negative thoughts, she lightly brushes them away with “oh well,” and asks her subconscious mind to handle the lovey-dovey couple dynamics.

As a fascinating follow-up, a month after their reconciliation, when they actually went to a hot spring together, the exact scene she’d imagined came true—they wore matching yukata robes, bought ice cream at the gift shop after their bath, and said “this is delicious” together.

Key Takeaways: From Reality-Based to Thought-Based

The most important lesson from Msan’s experience is the consciousness shift from “reality-based” to “thought-based.”

Reality-based: Trying to use your thoughts to change your current reality (being broken up)
Thought-based: First decide what you believe, then reality follows

The shift from “him-centered” to “self-centered” is also crucial:

Him-centered: Actions based on what would make him happy
Self-centered: Actions based on what makes you happy

Msan’s advice is: “Lightly ask your subconscious mind for reconciliation and actively do things that make you happy. Please direct your consciousness toward yourself.”

Conclusion: It’s Already Working Out

Msan’s reconciliation story teaches us that no matter how hopeless a situation seems, changing your consciousness can dramatically change your reality.

From living together, a dramatic breakup, and a month and a half of no contact, Msan now has a relationship that is “more lovey-dovey than when we first started dating.” The core of that transformation was the consciousness shift from “him-centered to self-centered” and “reality-based to thought-based.”

Your love life is already working out. No matter what reality looks like, your thoughts come first, and reality follows.

📺 From Him-Centered to Self-Centered♡ From Reality-Based to Thought-Based, and Reconciliation!