That “past” trauma has nothing to do with “now”!

Hey beautiful souls! I know it’s been forever since my last post.

Between navigating this crazy pandemic and putting myself out there on video (talk about terrifying!), I’ve been completely MIA with updates… (Okay, maybe that’s not the whole truth)

I know some of you have been patiently waiting for fresh content,

and honestly, I’m overwhelmed by your love.
Thank you from the deepest part of my heart!

Once again, I’m going to write from the heart in my usual unfiltered style
This one’s pretty lengthy, but let’s dive in!

When you’re working toward reuniting with someone special, how do you handle thoughts about the past?

You know what I mean – the breakup and all the messy stuff that came before it.

There was a beautiful time when you two were completely connected and blissfully happy.
Then doubts and worries started creeping into her world.
Things slowly began unraveling.
Arguments became your new normal.
Until eventually, the silence took over everything.

We’ve all experienced those moments when our past hits us like a wave at the worst possible times.

I keep getting the same questions about this whole “past” situation.
Here’s what everyone’s really trying to understand:

Can past pain and trauma actually block you from creating your dream reality?

When you really examine this question,

what we’re actually asking is:
“Is the past even real?”

I’ve been exploring this “past” concept for years, and it’s absolutely mind-blowing.

When you truly grasp how your subconscious mind works,

only this present moment actually exists.
There’s literally no “past” or “future.”

I think this understanding naturally emerges when we explore these deeper truths.

But here’s the thing – doesn’t the “past” feel incredibly real to you?

I can recall every beautiful moment and every heartbreaking one with crystal clarity because they absolutely happened.
I mean, we broke up because of all those real experiences from the “past”…

If that’s where your mind is right now, please stay with me

The “past” only exists when I invite it into “now”

We exist in the eternal moment of “now,”

Right “now” I’m scrolling through this blog on my phone.

Right now I’m sipping my morning coffee

Right “now” I’m texting back and forth with friends

Right now I’m preparing dinner in my kitchen

We’re continuously living within these present moments.

So when exactly does the “past” make its entrance?

Right “now,” I’m scrolling through this blog on my phone.
The “past” appears: “We used to share music through his phone constantly.”

Right “now” I’m sipping my coffee
The “past” whispers: “We had our coffee ritual every morning together.”

Right “now” I’m texting with friends
And suddenly the painful “past” crashes in: “We used to message each other from morning until night…”

Right “now” I’m cooking dinner
And here comes the “past”: “I used to create such beautiful meals for him.”

 

Do you see how everything begins from “now”?

The “past” can only enter through “now,” through this exact present moment.

Right “now,” in this precise moment, the “past” doesn’t actually exist, does it?
Because,
Right “now” I’m simply reading these words on my screen.

Right “now,” as you’re typing a message to someone, there’s no “past” in that action, right?

What this reveals is:

The “past” exists only within your thoughts.

No matter how vivid and emotionally real those memories feel, they live entirely in your mind.

So why does it feel like I’m actually reliving those “past” experiences?

Because right “now” you’re actively choosing to resurrect that “past.”
There’s literally no other explanation.

When you flip this perspective,

The “past” doesn’t exist unless you consciously bring it forward.

“That’s impossible!! It absolutely exists!! That night!! At our favorite restaurant!! When he whispered he loved me!!”

You might be screaming this internally, but it only feels real because you’ve summoned that “past” into your “now.” Without you pulling it forward, that “past” simply wouldn’t exist.

I have countless photos of us together
I kept the receipt from our anniversary dinner
I have screenshots of every sweet text exchange

You might point to these as proof, but here’s what’s actually happening…

These only exist because you chose to summon that “past” into your “now”

When we connect this to “You create what you believe,” the entire sequence from “I’m thinking about my ex” to “photos, receipts, message history” simply manifested into your current experience.

(Pretty wild when you think about it, right? Feel free to think I’ve lost my mind lol)

Let’s focus on the reality we’re creating instead of “what used to be”

That’s exactly why when it comes to your “past” – the cruel words thrown at you, the painful things done to you, all of it.

For those of you who keep revisiting these experiences,

you’re simply choosing to drag all that pain and trauma into your current moment,

so since we’re here in the “now,” why not choose something that feels amazing instead?

Sometimes experts will tell you, “What happened before doesn’t define you.”

They’re completely right – it truly is “irrelevant.” Unless you personally choose to resurrect it and give it power.

If “that painful thing from the past” keeps surfacing and it’s destroying you,

you need to understand that there’s a specific reason you keep wanting to revisit it.

It doesn’t randomly pop up by itself.

You’re deliberately pulling it into your awareness.

So once you shine awareness on “that painful thing from the past,” try asking yourself, “Why do I keep bringing this back to life?”

What do you think? I believe this exploration is incredibly valuable.

Once you recognize that you’re the one resurrecting it, it usually dissolves just from that recognition alone.

At least, that’s been my experience.

If “You create what you believe,” and I can manifest anything I desire starting right now, wouldn’t it make more sense to stop dragging up old pain?

And honestly, it’s not just the painful past.
I don’t even need the beautiful past anymore.

Because I can create something even more incredible from this moment forward.

Your relationship with your parents and childhood programming has nothing to do with “now”

Speaking of the “past,” I received this thoughtful question from Mogu-san. (Thank you, Mogu-san!)

“Unless we heal or transform the limiting beliefs we formed in childhood through our parents, our reality will never shift.”
“If I believe I’m fundamentally unlovable, my reality won’t change.”

This is what therapists often tell us, but what does it actually mean in practice? That was their question.

Here’s my direct answer:

There’s absolutely no connection between the past and your current reality.

But I completely understand Mogu-san’s confusion.

We’re constantly told that negative experiences with our parents will dramatically shape our entire lives.
People say that if you felt unloved by your parents, you’ll create a reality where love is always just out of reach.

Actually, especially in mother-daughter dynamics, there are countless cases where the mother believed she was expressing love, but the daughter grew up feeling completely unloved.

Of course, I lived this experience too

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A child who couldn’t heal her mother tries to heal through her boyfriend.

For a young child, their mother represents their entire world, so this pattern makes complete sense.

When mom looks heartbroken, did I cause that?

When mom explodes with anger, is that my fault? Did I disappoint her again?

Even though mom’s emotional states change for countless reasons beyond the child, the daughter connects everything back to herself, and eventually believes,

“I wasn’t enough to make my mother happy”

Some people carry this wound throughout their entire lives.

The daughter who couldn’t heal her mother tries to heal her mother through someone new.

Yes, through her boyfriend.

There are countless stories of couples who start off blissfully happy, but everything crumbles once they begin trying to fix each other.

It’s because they’re desperate to experience being truly helpful.
They keep recreating this same painful pattern.

Because of this wound, they push themselves to become stronger because they failed to help their mother.

But here’s the truth – this entire story also has nothing to do with “now.”
So if there are people who live by the belief “My childhood experiences have no impact on my current life,” then that becomes their exact reality.

“No connection to parents” = the “past” has zero relationship or influence on what’s happening now.

However, if you keep resurrecting that “past” and obsessing over thoughts like, “Everything falls apart because of what my parents did to me!!!” it becomes like an addiction that grows stronger and stronger because you keep feeding that connection to your parents.

As I’ve shared countless times,

The past and “now” are completely unrelated.

Even when I say this, people who are still battling their parent wounds probably can’t accept it.
They can’t make it irrelevant because it feels so real.

In that case, I think it’s healthier to shine light on it and face it directly instead of pretending it never happened.
If you absolutely can’t stop dragging up “that thing,”

“I was so disappointed in you back then.”

“You’re exactly the kind of parent I can never forgive.”

“I’m disgusted. I’m done with you forever!”

Go ahead and really let it all pour out like that, lol, and then watch it dissolve.

But I don’t recommend navigating this healing work alone.
Instead of trying to handle this by yourself, you might want to work with a skilled therapist.

However, speaking purely from the subconscious mind perspective,

The past and now have absolutely nothing to do with each other

That’s simply how reality works.

Mogu-san, does this clarity help answer your question?

Even when you’re working toward reunion, if you decide the past is irrelevant, it becomes a reality where it truly is irrelevant, so release that worry

However, if you’re struggling with pain even while trying to believe the past doesn’t matter, it would be unreasonable to force yourself into that belief, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking support from a professional.

When your heart feels free and light, absolutely anything becomes possible

Alright, here’s the video that pairs perfectly with this blog post!

“I can’t reach out to him right now” is the most powerful message from your subconscious mind!

No, this is something I absolutely need to shout from every rooftop – it’s seriously the most powerful thing in the universe!!

Meguru