Confidence Part 1: Baseless Confidence is the Strongest!

I lack confidence in myself!

Hello. This is Iruru.

Are you confident in yourself?

Before, in this episode,

I wrote about my lack of confidence due to my lack of dating experience, but in the past I wasn’t just insecure about love—I doubted my appearance, my personality, everything. I didn’t feel like I could succeed in love at all.

I’d look at selfies and think I wasn’t cute, and of course I didn’t have a wonderful boyfriend. Even when I tried self-love or affirmations, that negative voice inside would scream, “I’m cute and in a wonderful relationship… but I’m NOT cute and I’m NOT in love at all!!!” It was so loud, like I was doing negative affirmations instead. Beyond love, I couldn’t land the job I wanted, and my work relationships were terrible. My life felt so far from my ideal, and I was exhausted every day.

How do you gain confidence?

Looking back on how I escaped that situation, I think the biggest shift was breaking out of the “confidence from achieving something” loop.

When I lacked confidence, I thought, “I’ll be confident once I accomplish something” and “I’ll gain confidence through experiences.” For example…

• Because I landed a big project
• Because I had an amazing date with an amazing guy
• Because we had a beautiful wedding
• Because I can now earn good money

I believed accomplishing things would give me confidence. Since I hadn’t achieved anything, I had no “confidence.” That’s what I thought.

But this is all “external” confidence. It’s not your “inner” self, but fake confidence—like a house of cards.
What happens when that project fails? What happens if he breaks up with you? What if you get divorced? You end up at the mercy of everything outside yourself.

External confidence is fragile confidence that crumbles the moment something external disappears.

Instead, just being yourself is truly wonderful.
“Confidence” is something you can have without any basis whatsoever.

From the subconscious perspective, baseless confidence is the strongest.

And from a subconscious perspective, that baseless confidence truly is the strongest.
I’ve shared that the only rule for manifesting your desires through your subconscious mind is: “Because you believe it, it happens.”

“Because you believe it, it becomes so.”
The only foundation is what you believe. “There’s no basis for it being true just because you think so!” some might say, but since you’re the creator of your own life, it can only happen because “you” believe it will.

I want you to be confident in your thoughts without any basis. I want you to trust yourself without needing proof.

For those who lack confidence right now,

I know some of you might think this doesn’t make sense. I totally felt that way too. I’m not going to force baseless confidence on you if you’re not ready for it—feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t resonate.

If you want to build a little more confidence but aren’t sure how, start by writing down what you think is wonderful about yourself, or ask a friend.

When someone compliments you, instead of saying “That’s not true,” try saying “Thank you.” Stop deflecting. The key isn’t external confidence from what you can do, but confidence in who you are.

When I lacked confidence, ‘The Courage to Be Disliked’ brought me peace.

When I struggled with confidence, I read the bestseller “The Courage to Be Disliked,” and it really influenced me.

This book helped me realize I was trying to live up to others’ expectations, seeking recognition from others, when I needed to look inward for my own worth.

It gave me the opportunity to think that maybe it’s okay to be myself—that it’s okay to simply be who I am, beyond just feeling confident.

*Click on the photo to jump to details.

If you can feel confident without any conditions, you’ll be unstoppable!