Reader Questions #15: I can’t discuss my subconscious with anyone
In this series, we answer questions from our blog readers and YouTube viewers by selecting questions that we think will be helpful to many people. (The content has been modified appropriately to protect individual privacy.)
Hello, I’m Iruru.
I believe there are various circumstances and paths that lead someone to have a desire and decide to manifest it through their subconscious mind. Some people may find it challenging to discuss their efforts to work with their subconscious with others.
Question:
I’ve been in love with someone for three years now. I’ve been continuously thinking about using my subconscious to be in a loving relationship with him. I’ve been exploring various blogs and YouTube channels about it, but it seems my thoughts alone aren’t manifesting in reality. I don’t have anyone around to discuss my thoughts about the subconscious, so I would greatly appreciate any advice.
“I can’t talk to anyone about the subconscious!”
When reading consultations, I often see phrases like:
- There’s no one to talk to about the subconscious.
- There’s no one to consult.
- There’s no one who understands.
- I can’t discuss this with anyone.
Many people include phrases like these in their consultations.
Some believe they can’t consult others because the people around them aren’t interested in topics like the subconscious or spirituality.
Additionally, people who have had unfulfilled desires for years—like wanting to make unrequited love mutual or get back together with an ex—might fear that if they seek advice, they’ll be told, “Maybe you should just give up by now?” This perception makes it feel “impossible to consult” anyone.
Furthermore, when the desired romantic relationship involves complex situations like affairs, people may also find it “difficult to consult” others.
You’re caught in an “it won’t happen” ego
The law of manifestation through the subconscious is as simple as “you become what you believe.” If you believe in being “madly in love with him,” then you will become “madly in love with him.”
When it comes to manifestation, there are no levels of difficulty in achieving your desires through the subconscious—regardless of the situation, your past, or what anyone else might say.
Whether a desire seems “difficult to attain” or “easy to attain” doesn’t matter. Any desire can be achieved by simply deciding it’s done. If you find yourself feeling that a desire is hard to achieve, it’s because you’ve decided it is.
After making your decision, if you still feel troubled, then 99.9% of that trouble is your ego.
It’s best to ignore it. The ego thrives on creating problems, so if you keep trying to solve ego-generated problems, you’ll only create more confusion and feed the ego’s cycle. It’s like falling into the ego’s own trap.
So the ego keeps popping up one after another, and you find yourself struggling, buried under this “unachievable” ego.
Therefore, even when you’re feeling confused, all you need to do is ignore it. However, when you become entangled with the ego, it’s hard to tell which part is ego, and even if you decide to ignore it, you might find yourself feeling confused again shortly after.
When seeking advice, you can also be influenced by others’ opinions
If you’re someone who can talk to others regularly, I recommend talking to a close friend to clear your mind and get your thoughts out. Just be careful about who you choose, because you can be influenced by whoever you consult with.
Even if the other person is very kind to you, their opinion might be so strong and definitive that even if it contradicts your own thoughts, you might think, “Maybe they’re right because this person said it.” It’s easy to get swayed.
Rather than being influenced by others and becoming confused, I think it’s better to write down your true feelings in a notebook and organize them yourself.
Just write it all down in a notebook
Some people who consult us through this blog’s consultation form write and send their question, then read it back in the automatic reply email and realize, “Wait, this is all ego!” Some people tell us, “I solved it myself.”
This is where the notebook becomes useful. By writing it yourself, you can see your true feelings and solve the problem on your own.
When writing in your notebook to get your thoughts out, I recommend writing down whatever words come to mind, even if they’re completely contradictory, like “I love him” and “I hate him.”
There’s nothing you shouldn’t write, so just put down whatever words come to mind, even if it’s pure ego. I think it’s fine to set a timer and concentrate on writing for just 3 minutes. Call it “3-Minute Brain Dump!” For example, you might write something like this:
Just write down whatever’s in your head for 3 minutes!
- I’ve been in love with him for 3 years already.
- We dated briefly during that time, and we broke up at the end of last year. It was heartbreaking.
- I wonder if he doesn’t like me anymore.
- On social media, he seems to be working hard and having fun.
- I should work hard too.
- His birthday is coming up soon.
- I wanted to celebrate it with him.
- He definitely still likes me, right?
- He was so happy with my birthday surprise last year.
- Could he be celebrating with another girl this year?
- Sending a gift might be too much.
- There’s a new season of the Netflix show we used to watch together. I’d love to watch it with him again.
- My room is messy because I’ve been swamped with work. I should clean it.
- Who is that girl in his social media photos? They seem close.
- I want to get back together with him.
- I’m anxious about whether it’s possible, but I want to get back together.
- Is the subconscious mind really that mysterious?
- It sounds so weird that I can’t tell anyone about it.
- I want to be lovey-dovey with him!
Just write like this and get everything out. You don’t need to worry about consistency in your notebook—just write down your current thoughts. After you finish, take a deep breath and read it again.
When you do this, you might realize:
- “Wait, I assumed he liked that girl in the photos, but maybe that’s just my assumption.”
- “The thought that it might not work out could be coming from my anxiety—from my ego.”
- “Reading this back, I was more focused on it NOT working out than on it working out!”
Some people notice they’re entangled with their ego when their mind is in chaos. This can be an effective method for overthinkers to separate themselves from their ego. If you often find yourself with a clouded mind, give it a try.
However, it’s important to note that writing in a notebook doesn’t guarantee your wishes will come true. The subconscious mind operates on the principle of “what you think, you become.” Just remember—as long as you hold the thought of being “lovey-dovey with him,” you’re on the right track.
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