When You’re Always Accommodating Him

Hello, it’s Iruru.

The other day, when I was talking about love with my friends, I heard someone say, “I ended up always going along with what he wanted, and things got so bad that we broke up.”

There was a time when I was exhausted from constantly trying to accommodate someone else, so I could totally relate. I was curious what you all think about this?

If you’ve already broken up with someone and want to get back together, I think this article might help. Today I’d like you to reflect a bit on how your relationship dynamic was when you were dating. Please try to remember.

You don’t have to constantly accommodate him

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people genuinely want to do special things for the person they love!

I think that’s wonderful. When both people are busy, someone often needs to be flexible.

However, if you find yourself in this pattern and start feeling “I’m getting uncomfortable, this is exhausting,” take a moment to pause.

Are you doing something you don’t really want to do? Maybe that unease is a message from yourself saying, “Take better care of yourself!“

When you’re too focused on accommodating him, it becomes all about him, not you

When I was overwhelmed by constantly accommodating someone, I would set aside my own desires and what I wanted to prioritize for myself. Everything became about him, him, him.

Once I started down that path, even when I didn’t actually want to accommodate him,

I would become anxious, thinking I had to accommodate him, even when I didn’t want to. The truth was, I really didn’t want to do it.

Also, because I was constantly sacrificing my own needs, I sometimes fell into victim mode, thinking, “I’m doing so much for him, so he should at least do this much for me!”

But here’s the thing – he had never actually asked me to accommodate him. I was doing it all on my own. Yet I would blame him as if it were his fault, saying, “I’m always the one making sacrifices!” This only made our relationship worse.

Now, looking back, I realize that what I was really trying to tell him was actually what I needed to say to myself.

In my case, that underlying unease was like a signal telling me, “Take better care of yourself! Love yourself more!” It’s what we call “self-love.”

Only do what you genuinely want to do, the way you want to do it

Manifesting through the subconscious mind follows the principle of “what you believe, you become.” Once you’ve decided on your desired outcome, the key is to simply embody that outcome as if it has already happened.

Being considerate and accommodating can be seen as virtues, but the important question is: “Do I genuinely want to do these things as the version of myself who already has what I desire?”

If the answer is yes, then you do them without expecting anything in return. This way, you’re no longer forcing yourself to be considerate.

In practice, I started being careful not to do things I didn’t want to do, and not to suppress what I truly wanted. I realized this was actually an act of self-love. I didn’t make any dramatic changes though.

I simply started doing things that aligned with the version of myself who feels fulfilled and joyful. Looking back, I used to be quite demanding, often thinking “I did this for you, so you should do that for me.”

Now, when I notice I might be getting demanding, I step back and avoid having those expectations. I just focus on doing what I genuinely want to do.

This shift has made my heart feel so much lighter. Accommodating your partner can be beautiful, but if you ever find it challenging, I hope this perspective helps.