It’s not about whether it’s “right,” but whether it “feels right.”

How’s your Golden Week going? It’s Meguru here.

People who want to get back together with their ex often find their way to HOME REN, watch various videos, and then ask:

“Am I doing this right?”

I completely understand wanting to seek the “right answer” from others about whether your approach is correct.
But,

I want to talk about how this mindset shift is incredibly important.

Before we get into any “methods,” the fundamental principle you need to grasp is: “You become what you think.”

There’s no such thing as “wrong” when it comes to thoughts you’ve decided on

The subconscious works this way: “You become what you think.”
Applied to love, this means: “Think you’re lovey-dovey with him, and you’ll become lovey-dovey with him.”

What you need to do is simply “think it.”
In other words, decide on and set the thought of being “lovey-dovey with him.”

Honestly, there’s nothing else you need to do.
Please understand this point clearly first.

So what are “methods” then?
In terms of “you become what you think,” they’re about “how to decide your thoughts.”

“Lovey-dovey with him,” “married and happy me” – anything works. Just decide how you want to be.

Sometimes people set something up and ask me, “Is this right?” But I can’t tell you that.

“Right” implies seeking correct or incorrect answers, but that’s not what this is about. Instead, use this as your guide:

Does it feel right to you?

“Is it right?” makes you feel like you need to ask someone else for the answer, but “Does it feel right?” makes you realize the answer can only be found within yourself.

Everyone has their own way of ditching and ignoring ego

Now.
Besides “you become what you think,” the most common question I get about “Am I doing this right?” is about dealing with ego.

Earlier, I said the subconscious works by “you become what you think.” Decide your thoughts. That’s all you need to do. But:

“Even so, I can’t help but worry about reality”
“Even so, the ego voice saying ‘it’s impossible anyway’ keeps coming up and it’s painful”

Many people think this way, and that’s when they want to know the “methods.”

Ultimately, this is all there is.
After all, reality itself is neutral.

I looked at his social media
I heard about him from friends
I had a chance to see him

I often hear people say they can’t help but worry about reality when they see or hear anything related to him, but by themselves, these are just:

I looked at his social media
I heard about him from friends
I saw him

That’s all.

But then this happens:

Well, besides these, there are also cases where even though there’s no contact and no real connection, you’re actually thinking about him 24/7.

And so on – constantly thinking about him, and deliberately reacting negatively to everything.

It’s over, impossible, no good.
Reacting this way is ego.
You become one with and get swept away by the ego that automatically reacts to neutral reality, or to past painful events or future anxieties. That’s why it feels painful and difficult.

And this is when you want to know the “methods.”
When ego comes up intensely, you want to know the “method” for what to do.

“What feels right to you” – only you can know this

When ego comes up, there’s nothing you can do about it.
That’s what we consistently say at HOME REN.

Because, as I mentioned before, it’s just a reaction.

Toss it aside.
Let it flow out.
Ignore it.
Let it go in one ear and out the other.

I use different expressions in different videos, but they all mean the same thing: “Just observe without getting involved.”

Some people say, “I tried to toss it aside but couldn’t. What should I do?” and ask for methods.
If you can’t toss it aside and feel difficult or painful, you’re stuck in those emotions, so in that case I sometimes suggest: “It’s okay if you can’t toss it aside” – give yourself permission with that feeling.

Now, the ways to toss aside ego when it comes up are truly infinite.
Some people imagine crumpling up paper scraps and throwing them outside
Some people talk to their ego saying “Thank you for everything, but goodbye now” and let it go
Some people just endure no matter how intense the emotions get
The methods vary from person to person.
With 100 people, there are 100 different ways.

What matters here too is not the attitude of examining “whether the method is right,” but using “whether it feels right to me” as your guide. What feels right to you is something only you can know.

N-san who used “mental live commentary” to bring consciousness to the “here and now”

“Whether the method is right or not” versus “whether it feels right to me or not.”
Using this as your guide, when setting your “thoughts,” you can decide on the “thoughts” that feel most right to you, most comfortable, that make you feel bright – relying on your own senses about how you want to be. And when ego comes up, you’ll be able to ignore it in your own way that feels right.

I’d like to share a comment from N-san on YouTube that I thought was really wonderful.

N-san’s referenced video

You can see that N-san, while taking hints from HOME REN’s success story videos, found her own way of doing “mental live commentary.” The me who’s already successful is doing this and that in daily life. Doing live commentary this way means each commentary inputs “the me who’s already successful” into the brain.
This method worked extremely well for N-san, but naturally, it won’t work for everyone.

What matters here is the perspective of “Does this feel right to me?”

Whether it “feels right” or not – the answer exists only within you.
“What do I think?” In the end, that’s everything. So the attitude of seeking methods fades away, and instead you start thinking it’s more important to value how you feel, whether it feels right, what you want to do.

Meguru♡