What Real Love Looks Like — And Why We Keep Confusing It

Do you ever find yourself operating from these kinds of limiting beliefs?

These feel like they could be true, right? But here’s the thing — they’re really not.

・Aren’t there plenty of people who stay faithful and devoted to their partner?
・Don’t people actually grow closer and more attached the longer they’re together?
・Isn’t it common for couples to text less simply because they feel secure and comfortable with each other?

The truth is,

Love can involve infidelity
and
Love can also mean being completely devoted to someone

Both are equally true.

Because they’re “the truth” for whoever believes them.

Here’s my own example: I used to watch so many dramatic romance shows with all kinds of plot twists. And guess what happened?

I started to believe that real love meant two people overcoming crisis after crisis together.

This belief became so ingrained in me that I didn’t even question it.

And then, sure enough, my relationships started reflecting this belief.

(Crisis → anger → apology → happy ending)

(Drama unfolds → we talk it through → happy ending)

(Devastating blow → heartbroken breakup → reconciliation → happy ending)

　I kept experiencing these dramatic cycles over and over, confused each time, but really? I wasn’t confused at all.

My belief about love (two people conquering obstacles together) was simply playing out in my reality.

When I finally realized this, I was stunned at how much I’d unconsciously created it. But I also realized that so many of us are doing something just like this.

When you believe love always involves cheating, you’ll find evidence everywhere to prove it.

Our minds are designed to reinforce whatever we believe.

「Love always comes with infidelity」

If you hold this belief and hear that your friend’s boyfriend cheated, you immediately think, 「See? I knew it」 and file that information away as proof of your “truth.”

 

But when you hear the opposite — like “Mr. A has been married for five years and he’s completely devoted” — you dismiss it without a second thought: “Oh, well, that’s just an exception.”

Now flip it around.

If you believe “love means being completely devoted to your partner,” you respond to the devoted couple story with 「Exactly! That’s what I’ve been saying!」 and store that as evidence. Meanwhile, when you hear about infidelity, you brush it off: “Yeah, that’s just an anomaly.”

Do you see what’s happening?

People who believe “love always involves infidelity” will unconsciously focus on and remember the events that prove this. People who believe “love means devotion” will focus on and remember events that prove that instead. In other words, we’re all selectively gathering evidence to confirm our own version of the truth.

We only see what we believe we’ll see.

It’s time to let go of beliefs that are holding you back

Love can involve infidelity
and
Love can be about being completely devoted to someone.

They’re both “the truth” for whoever holds them.

So what do you do if you realize you’ve been carrying a limiting belief like, “Actually, love doesn’t have to involve cheating”?

Simple: just acknowledge it and say, “Oh, I used to think love always involved cheating.” That’s it.

It sounds too easy, right? But that’s actually how simple it is.

Because here’s the thing: awareness itself dissolves the belief. Once you truly see it, it loses its power.
But if you’re thinking, “Wait, it won’t just disappear that easily,” then try this:

“Thank you”
“I love you”
“I’m sorry”
“Please forgive me”

Chant these Ho’oponopono phrases in your mind like a gentle mantra ♡

 

One more important thing:

If you’re trying to manifest getting back with someone, just focus on that. Don’t go searching for limiting beliefs to clear. Sometimes we get caught in this loop where we think nothing will work unless we find and fix every single belief — and that belief itself becomes limiting. For example:

“Love always involves infidelity”
↓
“He’s not cheating, so maybe it won’t work out…?”
↓
“Wait, he’s been acting strange lately…”
↓
“See, he must have cheated.”

Did your limiting belief just create an inconvenient situation? Once you notice it, just let it go!

That “common sense” you’re living by? You probably picked it up somewhere else entirely.

Sometimes the beliefs we’ve reinforced so many times become what we call “common sense.”

But if you trace back where you really got that common sense,

You might find it came from overly dramatic romance shows, anime where suffering builds character, things your family said, or what society told you — and honestly, it’s worth questioning whether any of it is actually true for you.

It’s surprising how much influence the shows and movies we watched as kids have on us — especially ones with heroines who overcome endless trials and tribulations.

There’s a classic pattern: a little girl starts wealthy, then suddenly her family loses everything due to an accident, bankruptcy, or death.

And from there, she unknowingly picks up the belief:

If you just persevere and keep pushing, you’ll be rewarded eventually!

This becomes her truth.

But here’s the beautiful part: if you realize this belief isn’t serving you anymore, you don’t have to keep holding onto it forever ♡

♡Meguru♡