Proposal After 10 Months of Reconciliation! A Woman’s Story of Discovering That “Happy Me” Is the Foundation

Introduction

When you’re struggling with love, doesn’t your heart feel heavy every time you face reality? Especially when you’re hoping for reconciliation, it’s easy to swing between hope and despair depending on your partner’s attitude or whether they contact you.

Today, I’d like to share the story of A-san (around 40 years old), who broke up with her foreign boyfriend after 4 years of dating and received a proposal 10 months later—leapfrogging reconciliation entirely. A-san’s experience offers concrete lessons in manifesting love through the subconscious mind.

From Breakup to Discovering a New Girlfriend: Rock Bottom

Why the 4-Year Relationship Ended

In July 2020, A-san broke up with her foreign boyfriend after 4 years of dating. Reflecting on the reason for the breakup, A-san says:

“His family was going through a difficult time, and he was busy with work. I selfishly demanded we spend more time together, and that’s when he told me we should break up.”

Throughout their relationship, she felt anxious because he “was quite popular and had many female friends.” Broken phone promises and unreturned calls on his days off would make her suspect infidelity, often leading to arguments.

The Harrowing Experience Right After the Breakup

A-san’s situation right after the breakup was truly “rock bottom.”

“For about two weeks after we broke up, I couldn’t focus on anything. When I was at home, I was practically glued to my bed. I couldn’t eat, and I cried almost every day thinking about him. I’d even start crying at work when I thought of him.”

From Brief Hope Back to Despair

A month after the breakup, he started contacting her, and by October they were meeting up. Despite the 2-hour round-trip distance, they were seeing each other about once or twice a month, so A-san thought, “Maybe we’ll get back together.”

But early in December, he told her he had a new girlfriend.

“It was the worst. I was plunged into the depths of despair all over again. When I saw the photos and videos of them together on his social media, I felt like I’d been made a fool of. Like I meant nothing.”

Meeting the Subconscious Mind and Shifting Awareness

From “Suspicious” to “Let Me Try Everything”

A-san originally knew about the law of attraction and the subconscious mind, but she “found it suspicious and fishy, and I didn’t like it.”

However, in December, after hitting rock bottom, her thinking completely changed.

“My doubts melted away, and I thought, why not try everything? As I researched the law of attraction and the subconscious mind, I realized that without knowing it, I’d been using my subconscious to manifest many of my desires. I thought, maybe reconciliation is possible too.”

A Critical Realization: “I Created This Reality”

A major shift in A-san’s awareness came from a particular insight.

“When we reconnected in October and things were going well, I was very anxious about whether he was seeing other women too. After watching ほめ♡レン videos, I suddenly understood that the reality of him being with that woman was something I had created.”

This realization is crucial. According to the law of the subconscious, “outer reality is a reflection of inner consciousness.” By holding onto anxiety and doubt, she may have attracted exactly that reality.

Using Mindfulness Meditation to Create Distance from the Ego

Breaking Free from “Identifying with Thoughts”

Among the practices A-san implemented, mindfulness meditation proved especially effective.

“When I’d see reality, my ego would arise, and it took a long time to notice it was ego at all. I thought the ego itself was me.”

However, as she continued mindfulness meditation, something shifted.

“I began to notice the thoughts and emotions I used to be fused with, and I could start observing them from a distance. I think this was a huge turning point for me.”

The Importance of Directing Awareness to “Here and Now”

The essence of mindfulness meditation is “being present in the here and now without judgment, while noticing the emotions that arise.” This allows you to focus on the present moment without being controlled by past regrets or future worries.

Setting “His Most Beloved Wife” as Your Default State

Specific Practice Method

A-san maintained her ideal state through her own unique method.

“I set my default to being his most beloved wife, and I would observe the phenomena happening from the perspective of that default version of me.”

She also wrote the following phrases on paper, photographed them with her phone, and carried them with her:
– No matter what happens, I am loved
– Being together is so much fun
– We’re in love and happy

“When I’d see difficult reality, I’d look at these right away.”

The Blue Sky and Clouds Image

A-san describes the perspective she ultimately arrived at with a beautiful metaphor.

“I imagine the entire blue sky as me being in love and happy with him. The clouds that form in that blue sky represent painful reality and ego. Since I am the foundation—the blue sky itself—I don’t go into the clouds. I simply let them pass by as I observe them.”

10 Months of Focusing on Herself

Stopping Self-Blame

As A-san shifted her consciousness, she also transformed her relationship with herself.

“I realized I hadn’t been listening to my heart at all. I was speaking to myself with incredibly harsh and cold words.”

“First, I stopped blaming myself completely.”

Creating Time for Herself

A-san redirected the energy she’d been putting into her relationship toward herself and began doing things she loved:
– Listening to comforting music
– Savoring her favorite coffee
– Taking up the ukulele
– Reading
– Arranging flowers
– Strength training
– Increasing language lessons
– Studying for certifications

“When I focused on myself, I naturally spent less time thinking about him. I started feeling the happiness of fulfilling myself.”

From Reconciliation to Proposal

Reconnection and Relationship Progress

After 10 months of self-improvement, A-san and her boyfriend reconnected in June. They saw each other a few times through August, but there was no talk of getting back together.

However, in September, he invited her to go camping, and that’s when he proposed.

“He said his work was settling down and he was thinking about returning to his home country. He asked if I would come with him, and that led to the proposal.”

Ego Still Arises Even After the Proposal

Notably, even after receiving the proposal, A-san’s ego still shows up.

“While he was on a video call with his mom, he turned away so I wouldn’t be in the frame and said he was alone. My ego started spiraling: ‘Why would he hide me if we’re dating? Was that proposal not sincere?’”

But A-san is no longer swept away by it.

“I try to distance myself from it as quickly as possible, step back and create some space. I shift into being his most beloved wife, simply observing it all from that perspective.”

The Importance of “Happy Me” as the Foundation

Happiness That Doesn’t Depend on the Relationship

The most important realization A-san reached is this:

“I realized that while I’m his most beloved wife, the foundation beneath that is a happy version of me. This realization has become a catalyst for turning my entire life for the better, regardless of what happens between us.”

A Message to Readers

At the end of her story, A-san sends this message to others struggling with similar issues:

“Because you love him so much, you might not be taking proper care of yourself or be so focused on him that you’re not treating yourself as your top priority. Only you can create your own life, and you’re the one who will be closest to you for your entire life until you die. When I realized that, I naturally began to truly cherish myself.”

Conclusion: Key Takeaways for Using the Subconscious to Manifest Love

The key points we can learn from A-san’s experience are:

1. Realizing that you create your reality: External events are reflections of inner consciousness
2. Creating distance from ego: Using mindfulness meditation to stop identifying with thoughts
3. Setting your ideal state as default: Viewing reality from the perspective of “his most beloved wife”
4. Stopping self-blame: Speaking to yourself with kindness
5. Creating time to focus on yourself: Shifting from being partner-centered to self-centered
6. “Happy me” as the foundation: Happiness that doesn’t depend on the relationship

A-san’s experience is a valuable case study showing how the law of the subconscious actually works. No matter how painful reality seems, by changing your inner consciousness, your outer reality transforms as well.