Successful Reconciliation After 9 Months of No Contact | How a Woman in Her 40s Practiced “Returning to Self-Centered Living”

The longer the period of no contact stretches on, the more we tend to fall into a mindset of “Maybe reconciliation just isn’t possible anymore…” But the truth is, there’s absolutely no connection between how long the silence lasts and your chances of successful reconciliation.

Today, I’d like to share the successful reconciliation story of M, a woman in her 40s who experienced complete no contact for 9 months with a boyfriend she’d dated for 2.5 years.

What M practiced was “reclaiming her self-centered axis.” I’ll walk you through the specific methods she used and the shifts in her consciousness.

Profile of Reconciliation Success Story: M

• Age: Woman in her 40s
• Relationship Duration: 2.5 years (2018 to autumn 2020)
• Reason for the Breakup: A fight (their first fight in the relationship)
• No Contact Period: 9 months
• Path to Reconciliation: He reached out with an apology and they got back together

Pain and Escape Behaviors During the No Contact Period

The Situation Right After the Breakup

After their fight and breakup, M and her boyfriend apologized to each other via LINE. However, no matter how many times M tried to reach out, he wouldn’t respond at all.

M found herself thinking, “He hates me” and “If he won’t contact me, that means we’re really broken up.”

Behaviors to Escape the Pain

To escape the pain of no contact, M engaged in the following:

• Visiting fortune tellers
• Setting her boyfriend’s name as hidden on LINE
• Avoiding looking at gifts he’d given her (she later sold them on Mercari)
• Becoming so depressed she couldn’t even watch ほめ♡レン videos

The Turning Point: The Realization of “Focusing on the Present”

Using Knowledge of the Subconscious Mind to Transform Her Awareness

M had always loved learning about the subconscious mind and the law of attraction (the idea that you can change reality through your thoughts). Though she had the knowledge, she was completely immersed in the pain of her situation.

But then she had a breakthrough: “I hate feeling sad and exhausted from thinking about him all the time.”

The Shift From “Him, Him, Him” to “Me, Me, Me”

M made the following conscious shift:

• Focus on the present moment: Direct your awareness to this very instant
• Focus on yourself: Direct your awareness to yourself, not to him

With “here and now” as her guiding principle, M began consciously focusing on “being present” and “focusing on myself” whenever painful thoughts arose.

Her Unique Practice Method: Instagram Meditation Broadcasting

Her Approach to Meditation

To concentrate on what was in front of her, M chose meditation. But since meditation didn’t come naturally to her, she came up with a brilliant idea.

“Meditate while broadcasting live on Instagram”

This method allowed her to maintain a meditation practice that she wouldn’t have been able to sustain alone.

Her Daily Practice Patterns

• During work breaks: Reading books about the subconscious mind and writing down her insights in a notebook
• Evening time: Broadcasting meditation sessions on Instagram
• Broadcast content: Sharing with viewers what she’d learned about the subconscious mind and the law of attraction

M reflects, “This was the most enjoyable and focused time I could have during that period of my life.”

The Results of Her Consciousness Shift: Emotional Changes and a Sudden Popularity Surge

Changes in Her Heart

Through continuous focus on her self-centered axis, M experienced the following changes:

• She was able to be in a good mood for increasingly longer periods
• The time she spent thinking about him decreased
• She truly understood the meaning of “what you think is what you become”
• Even when negative thoughts (ego) arose, a sense of peace would override them

A Sudden Wave of Popularity

As M’s self-centered axis became more established, an “ikemen paradise” descended upon her:

1. A Starbucks barista: Resembled someone from the group Third Generation JSB, and she enjoyed the excitement
2. A café barista: Looked like someone from Johnny’s Entertainment, and they became close
3. A crush from 10 years ago: Suddenly reached out to her, leading to drinks at home
4. Someone who once said “I never want to see you again”: Contacted her and was very enthusiastic
5. A shop employee: Rapidly grew closer, eventually having drinks at each other’s homes

Recognizing Her True Feelings and Reconciliation

Discovering Her Real Heart

After enjoying the flutter of excitement with various men, M suddenly realized something about her true feelings.

“The truth is, I really do want him.”

From this realization, instead of imagining a future with him, M found herself reflecting on the happy memories from their past together.

The Moment of Reconciliation

One month after discovering her true feelings, her boyfriend suddenly reached out.

When they met for the first time in 9 months, he said to M:

“That fight has been bothering me all this time. I was really overwhelmed back then, and I’m so sorry. I’ve wanted to apologize for so long.”

Hearing his words, M’s tears flowed freely. She expressed her honest feelings, and their reconciliation was complete.

It turned out that he had actually been waiting for her to contact him. But because M never reached out, he finally made the first move himself.

The Secret to Reconciliation Success: The Importance of Returning to Self-Centered Living

Why Self-Centered Living Matters

What we can learn from M’s story is that the key to reconciliation success is “reclaiming your self-centered axis.”

• Him-centered thinking: Creates anxiety, impatience, and a dependent state
• Self-centered thinking: Creates a sense of peace, independence, and an attractive state

Practical Methods for Returning to Self-Centered Living

Based on M’s example, the following methods are effective:

1. Building a habit of focusing on this present moment
2. Spending time on things that bring you joy
3. Investing time in learning and growth
4. Engaging in acts of contribution to others (such as broadcasting)

How to View the No Contact Period

M left this message: “The no contact period is actually an opportunity. You can use that time to truly make yourself happy.”

Regardless of how long the period lasts, it’s important to view this time as a chance for self-improvement and establishing your self-centered axis.

Conclusion: 9 Months of No Contact Has Nothing to Do With Reconciliation Success

M’s story, as a woman in her 40s, proves one thing: the length of the no contact period has absolutely nothing to do with whether reconciliation succeeds.

What truly matters is:
– Reclaiming your self-centered axis
– Focusing on this present moment
– Spending time on things that make you happy

If you’re currently in a no contact period, regardless of how long it’s been, your chances of reconciliation are absolutely there. If you establish your self-centered axis like M did, your reconciliation will surely come true.