Hello, this is Iruru.
Have you ever made a decision but can't stop thinking about it?
Am I the type where my ego comes out easily? So it happens all the time (lol). How do you feel?
- I've made up my mind, but I can't shake off this lingering frustration!
- The true nature of vague thinking
- Part 1. Stop thinking
- Part 2. Think about whether your vague thoughts are because you are doubting him.
- Part 3: Recognize and forgive your ego
- Once you stop worrying about your thoughts, try thinking of happy things that have come true!
I've made up my mind, but I can't shake off this lingering frustration!
Desires come true in the subconscious mind: ``Because you think so, it will happen.''
Whether it's about getting back together or having a one-sided crush, regardless of the situation or the past, if you want to be "the one in love with him," just decide it.
Once you've made up your mind, that's it. There's nothing else to do. Just be the person who has achieved it.
People often ask how to make up their minds, but once you feel you've decided, that's enough.
If I had to say more, it would be to set your sights beyond things like "him unblocking me on LINE" or "getting back together with him."
Choose thoughts that are even further into the future. However, some people might still find themselves unable to stop the negative frustration even after making up their minds. Perhaps you've had that experience too.
Among those who submit questions to LoveSync Attraction's question form, there are often people in the midst of this frustrating mindset.
In such times, you want to find a way to break free from that frustration and return to being the person in love with him.
Today, I hope to share some tips on how to escape that state and become the loving, successful version of yourself.
The true nature of vague thinking
First, let's briefly discuss what that feeling of frustration is all about. The root of this frustrating thought process is often the ego.
At LoveSync Attraction, we talk about the ego as a thought that semi-automatically judges and interprets based on past memories and ideas.
For instance,if you've had an experience like "having a fight with a boyfriend in the past and getting blocked on LINE, then growing distant afterward," when you see the fact that "there's no response on LINE," thoughts that instantly and automatically jump to conclusions like "Maybe he's blocked me again, and this might lead to us breaking up like before!" – these kinds of thoughts are typically driven by the ego.
In this example, it's just that "there's no response on LINE," right? "It might just be delayed," or he could be busy.
However, the ego tends to produce instant and mostly negative thoughts, like "Maybe he's blocked me again, and this might lead to us breaking up like before!" Moreover, due to the influence of past memories and beliefs, these thoughts often feel highly credible.
When you're feeling frustrated, your ego and yourself are usually closely intertwined. And this frustrating thought process often becomes something you convince yourself is true.
When you're in this state, it can be challenging to notice it on your own, but you're likely aware of the feeling of frustration.
When you're feeling frustrated, realizing that "although it feels like the truth, this frustration might just be my ego and not necessarily the actual truth" can help you break free from it. Next, I'll write about three ways to actually escape from this state.
Part 1. Stop thinking
First and foremost, simply stop thinking about that frustrating thought process. Say to yourself, "I've had enough! I'm going to be the loving and fulfilled me!
Returning to the loving and fulfilling thoughts is the simplest and best approach if you can manage it.
Alternatively, to stop thinking about it, you can try activities like meditation, getting a relaxing massage, engaging in sports or physical exercise, or doing tasks that require focus and hands-on work, like cooking or pursuing hobbies. If you stop dwelling on it through these activities, that's great!
Frustrating thoughts (the ego) tend to trap you more the more you dwell on them. So, stopping those thoughts is the best strategy! You don't need to read the rest of this article anymore (laughs).
However, when frustrating thoughts are running rampant, you might feel like saying, "I want to stop, but I can't!" I've experienced that myself, at least. So, if you want to stop but find it difficult, please do try the next method.
Part 2. Think about whether your vague thoughts are because you are doubting him.
I want you to check whether the content of this frustrating thought process comes from "doubting him.
For example, let's say you want to get back together with him, and your birthday has come, but he hasn't contacted you.
In this situation, you might start feeling frustrated like, "It's my birthday, but he hasn't reached out at all... It would have been nice if he just said a word. Maybe he doesn't really like me anymore...
This kind of thinking involves doubting his feelings, right? In reality, he might be interested but finds it difficult to reach out because you're not together, or he might simply be forgetful and not great at remembering birthdays.
Either way, this frustrating thought process shows that you're seriously doubting whether "he likes me!
If you've decided to be the fulfilled you, I want you to be the version of yourself who doesn't doubt him.
In that case, even if he doesn't reach out on your birthday, you can think something like, "Maybe he actually wants to reach out but finds it hard to do so (laughs). It's okay this year; my friends are celebrating with me!" With this kind of mindset, you might find it easier to stay in a light and happy mood.
As you develop this ability, getting back together might seem like a piece of cake, and after reconciling, you might enjoy an even more loving relationship with him. This is a point!lol
Part 3: Recognize and forgive your ego
I'm curious about past events and the current situation! When this happens, first try writing down those vague thoughts on paper.
And by forgiving and acknowledging your uncertain self, you may be able to get rid of your ego.
For example,
Before we broke up, I said something harsh to him, and that was the beginning of a big fight.
I wish I hadn't said that. That may have been the beginning of my dislike.
↓
At that time, I said a lot of things because I wanted him to understand me.
It's because he loves him. Okay, okay, okay. You did your best.
↓
Forgive me and end.
I want you to forgive and end things like this, even if you don't write them down on paper, you might end up feeling confused forever. I think if you do that, you won't have to keep thinking about it.
Once you stop worrying about your thoughts, try thinking of happy things that have come true!
When you stop thinking and worrying, you may suddenly feel free and start thinking about other useless things.
But it's more fun to think about happy things than to worry about things that aren't fun. I would like you to moderate your moody thoughts and shift to happy thoughts.
All you have to do is decide what you want and just be yourself.
If you can't stop thinking vaguely, please try it!