Hello, this is Iruru.
Among those who want to get back together or those who currently have a boyfriend but feel like things aren't going well,is there anyone who feels that if I let him go, the next best person will never appear!?
In the past, I used to think this way almost every time I met a wonderful person, fell in love, and things didn't go well. It's like, ``
I have to keep this person connected no matter what!'' I would like to write about that today.
What's behind this feeling that I can't let him go?
I fall in love with him because he's a wonderful guy, and we end up falling in love with him, so I completely understand why he feels this way. I want to get back together because I love you.
However, what lies behind the feeling of "I can't let this guy escape!
"I might not be able to find anyone better than him."
“If we break up now, we might not be able to get married anymore.”
If you're feeling anxious or afraid that you might not find another boyfriend, I want you to stop and think about it for a moment.
Because, ``There's no way I can't find someone better than him.''
Desires come true in the subconscious mind: ``Because I think so, it will happen.''
If you think you can find a nice guy, you will.
Rather than thinking about that, just decide, Do you still want to get back together with him?''
You deserve to be doted on by a very nice guy in the first place.
Regardless of whether you get back together or not, I want you to know for yourself that you are worthy of being loved in the first place.
Whether it's the guy you want to get back with, or the guy you meet in the future who's more wonderful, you deserve to be doted on, and you're capable of a loving relationship.
I want you to recognize that you are a person who deserves to be loved.
And whether or not we get back together, I want him to always be my equal. I don't want you to be in a hurry and lower your worth than him.
The moment I thought, "I can't let this guy go," I started lowering my self-worth.
When I used to feel like ``I can't let this guy go!'', I put my self-worth much lower than him.
I was desperately thinking, ``I have to get back together with him and make it work somehow!'' So I tried to adjust my time and timing to him, and tried to act like I liked him...
More than me, he, him, him! I was becoming increasingly aware of this, and even though I was able to get back together, the pain remained the same.
In the end, it got tough and we broke up, but when I think about it now, I was thinking less about ``
I love him'' and more about ``If I break up now, I might not be able to find another person'' or ``The terms were such good...''
I think he was thinking about his specs and conditions, and just wanted to keep him around somehow.
Even if there was a boyfriend with better conditions, would I like this guy?
For example, I sometimes get asked this in my consultations.
"If I let him go, I might not be able to get married anymore.
But I can never forgive him for this part of me! I hope he can change this part somehow...
When you feel like this, before you think about whether or not he will change, there are some things you should think about.
You can meet a much more wonderful man, be doted on him, and have a happy relationship, but will you still choose him? It's about that.
Even if someone better and more respectable than him appears, do you still want him?
People who want to get back together say, ``I don't want it unless it's him!'' and refuse to accept anyone other than him! There are many things that you decide to do.
That's fine, but what if someone even more wonderful and respectable is promised to appear...?
If you think even a little bit, ``Well, if I had a boyfriend like that, I'd be better off that way!'', then maybe you don't need to get back together.
``There's no way anyone could be more wonderful than him'' is just an ego thing that comes from insecurities, so I hope you can ignore it and instead create a relationship that makes you truly happy.
