Hello, my name is Iruru.
You got in touch with a guy who you wanted to get back together with, and we managed to make an appointment!
And yet, he contacted you the day before or the day of the appointment and cancelled it....
I have received a few inquiries here and there about appointments that are cancelled every time and it is difficult to meet up with him. Have you ever had such an experience? What would you think if you did?
Egos that come up about the fact that they were cancelled.
You wrere looking forward to seeing him, but the appointment to meet has been lost. Or it was postponed.
It is sad because you were looking forward to seeing each other. If you haven't seen each other for years, or if you haven't seen each other in a long time because of reconciliation, you may be even more disappointed! You may be even more disappointed if the appointment has been postponed.
・Come to think of it, even when we were dating, I was canceled suddenly. I thought it would be scary if I got canceled suddenly, so I guess that's what happened.
・I was looking forward to it, but I had to work so I couldn't help it.
・I want to get angry, but if I get angry here, I might not be able to see you again. Let's be patient...
・Maybe I should decide on my next plan. Maybe I should wait until he contacts me.
I started to think mopey thoughts like this, and where is my fulfilled self....
But, you know, if it's subconscious wish fulfillment, "Because I think so, it becomes so."right?
No matter what the reality is, no matter what he says, just decide on the ``thoughts'' you want to make come true, and be the person who made those dreams come true.
You don't care if he cancels on date, you are in love with him and you are not going to move.
There is no need to think about this and that about cancellations, and when you do think about it, the thoughts that come up in a hazy way (like the blue box I mentioned earlier) are all ego, so I recommend going through them.
Don't blame yourself. But I can't suppress my feelings
Also, when something happens in this way, such as a cancellation, that is not good for you or that you do not want, some people have the mindset of blaming themselves, saying, "Maybe this happened because I wanted it to happen," but there is no need to do so at all. There is no need to over-focus on "cancellations" by associating them with the past, such as, "I may be prone to cancellations," or "I have often been cancelled in the past.
The realization of desire in the zenith consciousness is "Because you think so, it becomes so.
No matter what happens, you just have to decide on your thoughts and not move from the thoughts you have decided on.
But if you try to put a lid on feelings of sadness, anger, or other emotions when something unpleasant happens, you may find that the feelings become even more bothersome and come out more and more. When you find that you cannot go through them smoothly, or when you cannot make them go away, you often try to "confront the feelings that are bothering you and find out why you are bothering yourself so much.
It is difficult to understand if you think about it in your head, so I recommend writing it down on paper. For example, here is what I do.
・If it were me, I would put him before work, but he puts work first. Sad.
・I want to support his work, but I wish he would take care of me too. I wonder if this will continue even if we go out.
・I thought you said it was work, but it's not really work. ・I'm pissed off that I've been promising him for weeks!
・If he doesn't take care of me like this, maybe I shouldn't be him after all.
・It says we should do it next week or the week after, so I wonder if he feels like postponing it.
・The week after next is too far away! I want to see him right away!
・It's stupid that he only likes me. Maybe I'm better off with someone who loves me so much.
When you read it objectively, do you find that you are angry without permission from your own assumptions, or sad without permission from your own feelings?
It is easy to understand when it is someone else's problem, but it is difficult to notice when it is your own problem. However, I think that putting them on paper makes it easier to look at them objectively, so I think it will be easier to get away from the ego that has become one with them.
Also, if you ignore your feelings or keep a lid on them, you may not know what you want to do, so I think it is very important to know your true feelings and to be able to say what you really feel.
Because you want to get back together, aren't you putting him first?
I wrote at the beginning that a surprise cancellation is just an incident, but personally I think it's very rude. It's natural to be angry at him, and I think it's okay to say, "I've been looking forward to it! I won't see you again!"
But especially when you want to get back together, and when you haven't been able to see each other for a long time, you can finally meet!
If you suddenly canceled your relationship, you might end up thinking, ``I want to get back together, but I don't know about him, so I have to meet him anyway!'' and I can totally understand how you feel like that. .
It's not that there's anything wrong with valuing him or prioritizing him, but if you always put him first, if he always comes first, you're the one who starts to suffer. So, I value my convenience more than his convenience, and my feelings more than his. On top of that, I value him as well.
I think this will be very helpful in your continued relationship with him even after you get back together. As an extension of our first encounter in a long time, I hope that they will continue to be in love with each other from now on, without forgetting that they will continue to be in love with each other forever.
