Hello. This is Iruru.
"I want to see him 24 hours a day, 365 days a year!
When I'm alone, I tend to look at his social media, and whenever I see something delicious or something he might like, I wish I could eat it with him or show it to him. I feel like sending him a photo. I just want to stay connected to him forever!''
There was a time when Iruru was completely in love with him. If you are currently separated, please think about what happened when you were dating and what will happen after you get back together. It's not that this condition is bad, but when I was in this situation myself, when I think about it now, it was really difficult. How do you feel?
More than friends, more than family, he!
When I used to think, 'I want to be with him all the time. He should be my top priority,' and looked at how often I actually met him, it was once every one or two weeks. Despite thinking, 'I want to see him 24/7!' I hardly got to see him. We exchanged messages almost every day, but setting up dates was challenging.
At that time, my weekends were my main time off since I usually worked late on weekdays. Consequently, all my private plans were concentrated on weekends. So, whether it was an art exhibition I wanted to visit, a dinner invitation from friends, a concert I wanted to attend, or an appointment for laser hair removal, my weekends got filled up quickly.
I wanted to schedule dates with my beloved him in advance because I wanted to see him, but it just didn't work out. Whenever I mentioned it, he would say something like, 'I can't plan ahead because I don't know my schedule. If it looks clear closer to the date, I'll let you know, and if it doesn't work out, we can reschedule for another time.' I was always frustrated.
Sometimes, he would suddenly ask, 'How about this evening?' and I had to cancel my evening plans. I was constantly prioritizing our plans and putting my own needs on the back burner. It was really tough."
I considered him a rare character and even offered him as an offering on my household altar.
Now that I think about it, I recognized him as a rare character, even though I rarely get to meet him, and I was thinking to the extreme, ``I want to see him 24 hours a day, 365 days a year!'' If we could have met 5 days a week, I might not have thought this much. I have set myself a ``boyfriend that I rarely meet'' and prioritize his convenience over my own. I took it upon myself to play the role of ``my boyfriend's convenience.'' I now think that this was also a case of ``Because I think so, it will happen.''
Is it natural to prioritize someone you love?
At that time, I said, ``I love him, so it's only natural that I, who can adjust his schedule better than him who is busy,'' and ``I think it's important for us to build a relationship by compromising with each other.'' I thought, "I have to do it."
But since it was a sudden call, I couldn't go far, and I could only go to places where I had to make a reservation to eat. Gradually, I started to feel like he wasn't taking care of me, and I desperately clung to him, thinking, ``If I don't get along, things won't work out,'' but one day, it got really hard and I decided to break up with him. became.
In my case, we broke up, but I still understand the feeling that "he is 100% important to me!" I understand, but right now, the stance that both myself and him are important suits me better. This is because setting your thoughts to ``put him first 24 hours a day, 365 days a year'' is the same as choosing to have your life controlled by someone else. It's not that living a life of being at the mercy of others is bad, it's just that it was too hard for me to handle.
I want to make my own decisions, and I want to be his equal, not enshrine him in a shrine. And we want to take care of each other. I thought that would be a more enjoyable and long-lasting relationship.
Of course, this is just my personal opinion, so it doesn't have to be that way, and I think there are some people who would be happier if they were 100% aligned with him. When you think about what will happen after you get back together, think about which one would make you happier, and choose the one that suits you best.
