Reader Q&A #9: My Ex Posted Something “Scary” About Me on Twitter

From T

I’ve decided I want my girlfriend back—I’m completely in love with her!
We hadn’t been in touch for ages, but I reached out the other day to wish her happy birthday.
When I checked her Twitter afterward, I was shocked to see posts calling someone “scary”—and it felt like she was talking about me.
I was so thrown off. Even though I’d made up my mind about us, seeing that made me second-guess everything.

The Social Media Rabbit Hole

Your subconscious mind operates on one simple principle: “Whatever you believe becomes your reality.”

So when you want someone back, decide what your ultimate relationship looks like—not just the reconciliation itself—and step into being that person. I always encourage people to embrace the joy that’s already here in front of them.

But here’s what happens: even when you’ve stopped reaching out directly, so many people still find themselves scrolling through their ex’s social media, hunting for signs of new relationships or evidence they’re having a blast without you.

Twitter is especially tricky because of that character limit—people fire off impulsive thoughts without much filter.

Of course you’d see something like that and immediately think, “Oh god, that’s about me!”

Your subconscious mind really does work with that “believe it, become it” principle, so technically, as long as you can embody who you want to be, checking social media or making contact shouldn’t matter.

But here’s the thing—do you notice how the moment you react to some random tweet, your focus scatters and you’re suddenly being controlled by the “outside world”—by external circumstances?

Decision Made = Mission Accomplished

The moment you truly decide, you’ve already become the version of yourself who has what you want. That’s it—done deal.

What I always stress is not making your “desire” something immediate like “getting that text back” or “reconnecting tomorrow.”

Sure, you can focus on those things if you want, but honestly? I think it might take you on a longer, more complicated journey. I’d rather you decide what you want long-term. Let your subconscious handle the “how” of creating love between you two, while you focus on deciding what your future together looks like.

Once you’ve made that decision, from that moment forward, live as the person who already has that loving relationship with them.

“Living as that person” doesn’t mean obsessing about them like a broken record all day. It’s simply deciding and then—just like deciding to grab a glass of water and naturally doing it—becoming the version of yourself who already has what you want, right now.

So from here on out, enjoy each day as if you’re already in that beautiful relationship with them.

But here’s where it gets tricky: if you’ve been stuck in “desperate to get them back” mode, breaking that pattern isn’t always easy. You might find yourself still checking their Twitter and Instagram daily, scanning for new romantic interests, feeling anxious when your phone stays quiet.

This emotional ping-pong game—elated when they message you, crushed when they don’t—becomes your new normal.

But you don’t need any of that drama.

However, when all that chaos suddenly disappears… well, you’re left with tons of free time. So much free time that you get bored and find yourself checking up on them again.

Before you know it, you’ve slipped from the “I already have this” state back into “I need to get them back” mode. You catch yourself and try to return to the “I already have this” mindset.

If you can quickly snap back into that empowered state, you’re golden.

But like our letter writer, if you stumble across something that seems to be about you or discover signs of someone new, your ego can go haywire, and you might not be able to get back to your desired state for quite a while.

Even from this anxious state, reconciliation could still happen, but even if you do get back together, there’s no guarantee you’ll stay together.

And honestly? If you’re constantly worried and consumed by thoughts of them during no-contact periods, that kind of love feels pretty exhausting to me.

Since you’ve already broken up, I’d love for you to use this “free time” as a gift and really enjoy being on your own without all that pressure.

Check Their Social Media If You Want—But You Don’t Need To

Look, I get the urge to check social media—I like scrolling too—but I’ll be real with you: there’s no scenario where checking is 100% helpful.

Because you’re actively looking for problems. You’re primed to interpret everything negatively, so you’re guaranteed to find something that bothers you.

Instead of that energy drain, I want you to fall in love with your inner world and treasure the happiness right in front of you and the friends who are actually here.

If obsessing over your ex has basically become your hobby, this is the perfect chance to find something new to get passionate about!

When you can enjoy your time like this, I think you’ll create an even more amazing relationship when you do reconnect.

If you feel like your life is pretty empty right now, I totally recommend decluttering and organizing your space!

 

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