Can’t Stop Feeling Frustrated With Him? Three Ways to Find Your Peace

Hello, this is Iruru.

Have you ever made a decision but found yourself stuck in an endless loop of second-guessing?

My ego definitely loves to make appearances, so this happens to me constantly. Can you relate?

I’ve made up my mind, but I can’t shake off this lingering frustration!

Your desires become reality through your subconscious mind: “What you believe becomes what you experience.”

Whether you’re trying to win back an ex or nurturing feelings for someone who doesn’t know you exist yet, your situation or history doesn’t matter. If you want to be “loved by him,” simply decide that you are.

 

Once you’ve truly decided, you’re done. Nothing left to do but embody that reality.

 

People always ask me how to make this decision, but honestly? When it feels like you’ve decided, you have.

If I had to add anything, I’d say think bigger than small wins like “getting unblocked” or “getting back together.”

Envision your life further down the road. But here’s what happens sometimes: even after making this decision, that nagging frustration just won’t quit. Sound familiar?

I see this all the time in the questions people send to this blog—they’re caught in that frustrating mental spiral.

When this happens, you need strategies to break free and return to being the confident, loved version of yourself.

Today, I want to share some practical ways to escape that headspace and step back into your power.

The true nature of spiraling thoughts

Let’s start by understanding what that frustration actually is. Those spiraling thoughts? They’re usually your ego running the show.

Here on this blog, we define ego as automatic thoughts that judge and interpret everything through the lens of past experiences and limiting beliefs.

Here’s how it works: let’s say you once had a fight with an ex who then blocked you on social media before things ended. Now, when someone doesn’t respond to your messages, your ego immediately jumps to “He’s probably blocked me again—this is going to end just like last time!” That’s pure ego talking.

But look at the actual facts: there’s simply no response. That’s it. Maybe his phone died. Maybe he’s swamped at work.

Your ego, though, loves to create instant, dramatic, and usually negative stories. And because these thoughts feel so connected to real experiences, they seem incredibly believable.

When you’re frustrated, you and your ego are basically fused together. Those spiraling thoughts start feeling like absolute truth.

It’s hard to catch yourself in this state, but you’ll definitely feel the frustration.

The key insight? Recognizing that “even though this feels completely real, this frustration is just my ego—not necessarily reality.” That awareness alone can start to free you. Now, let me share three concrete ways to break out of this pattern.

Part 1. Stop thinking

The most direct approach? Simply stop entertaining those thoughts. Tell yourself, “Enough! I’m choosing to be the loved, fulfilled version of myself!”

Returning to thoughts of love and fulfillment is the simplest solution—if you can pull it off.

To actually stop the mental chatter, try meditation, treat yourself to a massage, get moving with exercise, or dive into something that requires your full attention—cooking, a hobby, anything that gets you out of your head. If these activities help you stop spiraling, perfect!

Here’s the thing about frustrating thoughts: the more attention you give them, the stronger they get. So stopping them cold is your best bet! You could honestly stop reading right here.

But let’s be real—when those thoughts are going full force, you might be thinking, “I want to stop, but I literally can’t!” I’ve been there too. If that’s you right now, try the next method.

Part 2. Ask yourself if your spiraling thoughts come from doubting him

I want you to examine whether your frustrating thoughts stem from “doubting him.”

Example: you want him back, your birthday arrives, and he doesn’t reach out.

Cue the spiral: “It’s my birthday and he hasn’t said a word… A simple ‘happy birthday’ would’ve been nice. Maybe he really doesn’t care about me anymore…”

See how you’re questioning his feelings? In reality, maybe he does care but feels awkward reaching out since you’re not together. Or maybe he’s just terrible with dates and forgot entirely.

Either way, this thought pattern reveals that you’re seriously doubting “he likes me!”

If you’ve decided to be the fulfilled version of yourself, you need to be someone who doesn’t doubt him.

So when he doesn’t text on your birthday, you might think instead: “He probably wants to reach out but doesn’t know if he should. That’s okay—my friends are celebrating with me this year!” This mindset keeps you light and happy.

Master this, and getting back together becomes effortless. Plus, when you do reunite, your relationship will be even stronger because you’ve learned to trust. This is everything!

Part 3: Recognize and forgive your ego

When you’re obsessing over past events and current situations, try writing those spiraling thoughts on paper.

By acknowledging and forgiving your uncertain self, you can release your ego’s grip.

For example:

Before we broke up, I said something cruel to him, and that started our biggest fight.

I wish I hadn’t said that. Maybe that’s when he started pulling away.
↓
I said those things because I needed him to understand me.
It came from love. It’s okay, it’s okay. You were doing your best.
↓
Forgive yourself and let it go.

Work through your thoughts like this. Without getting them out of your head and onto paper, you might stay confused forever. Once you complete this process, those thoughts lose their power over you.

Once you stop worrying about your thoughts, try thinking of happy things that have come true!

When you finally stop the mental spiral, you might suddenly feel free and notice your mind wandering to random things.

But why think about random stuff when you could focus on what makes you happy? I want you to consciously shift from heavy thoughts to joyful ones.

All you need to do is decide what you want and embody that reality.
If you can’t stop spiraling, give these methods a try!