He Cancelled Our Plans — Here’s How to Stay Grounded

Hey, it’s Iruru!

You finally reconnected with the guy you want back, and you made plans to meet up!

But then he reaches out the day before (or even the day of) to cancel…

I’ve gotten quite a few questions about dates being cancelled over and over, making it nearly impossible to actually see each other. Have you experienced this? What runs through your head when it happens?

The ego thoughts that pop up when you get cancelled on

You were so looking forward to seeing him, but now the date’s off. Cancelled or pushed back.

It’s crushing when you’d been anticipating it so much. If you haven’t seen each other in years, or it’s been forever since the breakup, that disappointment stings even more when plans fall through.

 

These heavy thoughts start spinning, and suddenly where’s that fulfilled version of you?
But here’s the thing: with subconscious manifestation, “what you believe becomes your reality,” right?

No matter what’s happening around you, no matter what he says, just choose what thoughts you want to make real, and become the person living that reality.

You don’t get shaken when he cancels – you’re secure in your love and you stay centered.

There’s no need to overthink the cancellation. When you do start analyzing, those murky thoughts that come up (like in that box above) are all ego – I recommend just letting them flow through you.

Don’t blame yourself, but don’t stuff down your feelings either

When something unwanted happens like a cancellation, some people blame themselves, thinking “Maybe this happened because I somehow wanted it,” but there’s absolutely no need for that. Don’t get stuck focusing on “cancellations” by connecting it to the past, like “I’m probably the type who gets cancelled on” or “This always happened to me before.”

With subconscious manifestation, “what you believe becomes your reality.”

No matter what happens, you just choose your thoughts and don’t waver from what you’ve decided.

But if you try to push down feelings of sadness, anger, or other emotions when something unpleasant happens, those feelings might become even more stubborn and keep surfacing. When you can’t seem to let them flow naturally, you might try to “dig into why these feelings are bothering you so much” and figure out what’s at the root.

It’s tough to understand when you’re just going in mental circles, so I recommend getting it all out on paper. Here’s an example:

When you read this objectively, can you see how you’re getting angry based on your own assumptions, or feeling hurt over things you’ve created in your mind?

It’s easy to see this clearly when it’s someone else’s situation, but so much harder to notice in your own. Writing it out helps you look at things more objectively, making it easier to separate yourself from the ego thoughts you’ve gotten tangled up in.

Also, if you ignore or suppress your feelings, you might lose touch with what you actually want. I think it’s really important to know your true feelings and be able to express what you genuinely think.

Are you putting him first because you want him back?

I mentioned earlier that a last-minute cancellation is just an incident, but honestly, I think it’s pretty rude. It’s completely natural to be upset, and I think it’s okay to say “I was so excited for this! I don’t want to see you anymore!”

But especially when you’re trying to get back together, when you haven’t been able to see each other for so long, and you finally get to meet…

If he suddenly cancels, you might think “I want us to work out, but I’m not sure about his feelings, so I need to see him no matter what!” I totally understand feeling that way.

There’s nothing wrong with valuing him or making him a priority, but if you always put him first, if he’s always number one, you’re the one who ends up getting hurt. So put your own convenience first, your feelings first. And then, on top of that, you can value him too.

I think this approach will serve you well in your relationship even after you get back together. As you move forward from this reunion, I hope you’ll both continue loving each other deeply, never forgetting to keep that love alive.