Whether You Contact Them or Not – The Result Will Be the Same!
Today I want to dive deeper into a topic that keeps coming up: whether it actually matters if you reach out to someone or wait for them to contact you first.
I know so many of you wrestle with this question. Should you make the first move? Is it better to wait? Today I want to look at the whole idea of “waiting for them to contact you” from a completely fresh perspective.
The truth might surprise you more than you think.
Does staying in touch really determine if you’ll get back together?
There’s this widespread belief that communication is everything when it comes to reconciliation.
If they reach out, you’re golden
If they don’t contact you, you’re facing an uphill battle
But why do we think this way?
[chat face=”woman2″ name=”Person A” align=”left” border=”red” bg=”none”]Isn’t it obvious?[/chat]
[chat face=”woman3″ name=”Person B” align=”left” border=”yellow” bg=”none”]Things definitely go smoother when you stay in touch[/chat]
[chat face=”woman2″ name=”Person C” align=”left” border=”green” bg=”none”]Contact means there’s still a connection, no contact means it’s over[/chat]
[chat face=”woman3″ name=”Person D” align=”left” border=”blue” bg=”none”]The more they reach out, the more they must care[/chat]
Hold on though…
Wait a minute. Are you serious right now?
If that logic holds true, then why did you break up in the first place? You were communicating back then too, weren’t you?
[chat face=”woman3″ name=”Person B” align=”left” border=”yellow” bg=”none”]Well… we had other issues. It wasn’t like we broke up because we stopped talking[/chat]
Exactly my point.
You just proved what I’m getting at. It’s not simply about whether you communicate or not.
So what’s the real story here? Does contact actually matter for getting back together? What’s the honest answer?
Even couples who text daily still break up
Let’s think about this logically for a second.
How many couples do you know who talked every single day and still ended up breaking up?
I can tell you from personal experience – every relationship I’ve been in involved daily communication, and they all ended anyway.
Contact = being loved = feeling secure
Even when couples talk constantly, they still split up when the relationship runs its course. You know this is true, so why do we pretend otherwise?
Contact = they like me
Contact = they love me
Why do we need to create this equation in our minds?
It’s because we want to feel safe, right?
When they reach out, it confirms they care, which gives us that warm feeling of security.
I completely understand that need for reassurance.
But here’s what happens when you flip it:
No regular contact means no security.
And honestly? That sounds exhausting.
The moment those messages stop coming, anxiety takes over. You’re constantly checking your phone, wondering if they’ll reach out.
Think about it though – when things are going well, don’t people naturally contact each other when they have something to share?
Sure, sometimes someone calls just because they miss your voice, but most of the time it’s way more casual than we make it out to be.
“Hey! What should we do for dinner tonight?”
“Let’s try that new place!”
“Which one?”
“The Italian place downtown?”
“Perfect! I’m still at work though – can you grab us a table?”
“Already on it!” “We’re all set!”
“You’re the best!”
“I’m actually excited about this.”
“Me too. See you soon.”
“Have a good rest of your day.”
“Love you.”
Most people communicate naturally when they’re sharing life together. Sound familiar?
“Please contact me so I won’t worry” is actually asking for a lot
Once you get trapped in the “I’m waiting for them to call” mindset, whether they contact you or not, that silence builds anxiety until you eventually snap. Then when they finally do reach out:
“I was so worried about you.”
“Oh, why? Sorry about that.”
“Why? Just call me like you used to. I get anxious when you’re busy at work.”
“…”
“All it takes is pressing a button on your phone.”
“Oh no…”
“I’m someone who gets anxious without hearing from you. You need to understand that about me. At minimum, when you travel for work, I want to know you got there safely. I think that’s normal in relationships…”
Even writing that conversation feels heavy. If someone said that to me, I’d probably feel even less motivated to reach out.
It doesn’t matter if you say it angrily, gently, or sadly – you’re essentially doing the same thing.
Why won’t you take care of me?
Why won’t you make me your priority?
That’s what you’re really screaming inside.
Why won’t you take care of me?
Why won’t you make me your priority?
The answer is simple: you’re asking the wrong person.
Why won’t you take care of me?
Why won’t you make me your priority?
You shouldn’t be asking this of them. You should be asking this of yourself.
There’s a part of you that’s angry, thinking “It’s always about them!” – and you’re right to be frustrated because you’ve been neglecting yourself for too long.
But here’s the thing: if you start taking care of yourself, you can solve this problem completely.
Whether I contact them or not, they love me
This might sound like a tangent, but I personally don’t think contact should be your measure of love.
Like I mentioned before, hearing from someone feels nice, but when you don’t hear from them, it just creates anxiety and emotional chaos.
Instead of that roller coaster,
Whether I contact them or not, they love me
Doesn’t that feel so much better?
Even simpler:
They love me
Wouldn’t it be easier to just know that? All this contact-checking is such unnecessary drama.
What happens when you look at contact from your subconscious mind?
So what happens when you examine this whole contact situation from your subconscious mind?
Whether they contact me
Or they don’t reach out
The result is exactly the same.
Wait, really? That can’t be true. Wouldn’t it be easier to get back together if they contacted you first?
Actually, it really doesn’t matter.
Because your subconscious mind works like this:
“What I believe becomes my reality.”
“I believe they love me, so they love me.”
It’s honestly that simple.
When you think about “me after we’re back together,” what do you see? “They love me” means we’re happy together again, right?
In other words, this is about your “way of being.”
How do you want to show up in this world? I always tell people to decide that first.
Once you decide to be someone who is deeply loved, you already ARE that person. The seemingly difficult reality playing out in front of you right now exists in a world that has nothing to do with who you really are.
Whether contact happens or doesn’t happen in that separate world has no impact because it’s completely disconnected from your true reality. That’s the feeling you want to cultivate.
Now, you could make your “way of being” about “someone who gets contacted” instead of “someone who’s happy and loved”…
But seriously consider whether your entire identity should revolve around just “getting a text message.”
Isn’t contact already naturally part of “I’m happy and loved”?
I dive deeper into this from different angles in my video content, so definitely check that out if you want to explore this further!
Meguru
Whether you contact them or not, the outcome stays the same.
📖 Recommended Reading
Install the Love Mindset with ChatGPT’s Devoted Boyfriend
A practical Kindle guide to manifesting love through the subconscious mind — by HOME♡REN
