【V-011】Is It Really Bad to Get Back with an Ex? The Subconscious Mind Has a Different Answer

Have you ever found yourself thinking something like this after a breakup?

“If we get back together, won’t we just break up again for the same reasons?”
“The issues that caused the breakup haven’t been resolved — so what’s the point?”
“Maybe wanting to reconcile just means I’m holding on too tightly.”

Every time those thoughts come up, you end up suppressing the part of you that genuinely wants to be with him again.

In this article, we explore the idea that “you shouldn’t get back together with someone you’ve broken up with” — from both the perspective of relationship psychology and the perspective of the subconscious mind. The two views are strikingly different.

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Why Relationship Psychology Says “Don’t Reconcile”

Relationship psychology operates on a simple premise: breakups happen for a reason.

Let’s say you always wanted to spend weekends with your partner, but he preferred making his own plans with friends or work. That difference in lifestyle led to the breakup. If you get back together without resolving that gap, you’ll likely hit the same wall again.

Relationship psychology asks:
“Have you addressed the root cause of the breakup?”
“Has he changed? Have you?”

If you reconcile without answering those questions, you’ll end up breaking up again — so why bother? That’s the logic.

At first glance, it sounds reasonable. But for someone who genuinely wants to reconnect with their ex, it often just creates more paralysis: “So what am I supposed to do now?”

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The Subconscious Mind Gives a Completely Different Answer

Here’s where the subconscious perspective — as taught by Homéren — comes in.

“What you believe becomes your reality.”

All you need to do is decide your “omoi” (thought/intention) — in this case, something like “He and I are deeply in love.” That’s it.

Whether the old issues are resolved, whether he’s changed, what happened in the past — none of that matters.

This is the key difference from relationship psychology.

Relationship psychology asks: Why did you break up?
The subconscious mind asks only: What do you want right now?

“He and I are deeply in love.” Decide that. Done.

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“But the Problems Haven’t Been Solved…” — That’s the Ego Talking

When you try to set your intention, a voice in your head might say: “But the reason we broke up…” or “What if nothing has changed?”

At Homéren, we call this the “ego.”

The ego is the automatic thought pattern formed from past experiences, common beliefs, and things others have told you. It’s not your true desire — it’s a reflex.

The ego can simply be tossed aside. Let it go in one ear and out the other.

Once you decide your intention, the path toward reconciliation is left to the subconscious — what we call “other-power.” How his feelings shift, what circumstances arise — that’s not your job to figure out. The subconscious handles it.

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Countless Reconciliation Reports Have Come In

Over the years, Homéren’s YouTube channel and Voicy podcast have received an enormous number of reconciliation success stories.

“Honestly, I had given up.”
“I didn’t think the cause of the breakup could ever be resolved.”
“I thought this kind of thing happened for other people, not me.”

And yet — those people got back together.

What’s making reconciliation feel difficult isn’t the situation.
It’s the belief that reconciliation is difficult.

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Summary: Wanting to Reconcile Is Enough

Relationship psychology asks you to solve the reasons for the breakup.
The subconscious mind only asks: what do you want?

If you want to reconcile, just decide: “He and I are deeply in love.”
The past, the unresolved issues, the what-ifs — none of that affects your intention.

Reconciliation? Easy as breakfast. ♡

You’re already on your way. ♡

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