He Married Someone Else After I Loved Him for 3 Years

You’ve been focused on “getting him” instead of “being happy with him”

Reading through everything you shared, I didn’t get a sense that you had a clear vision of what you actually want to experience with him after you’re together.

Of course, because you like him, I’m sure there’s no doubt you want to be with him somehow.

But instead of imagining how much joy and fun the two of you would have together after you started dating,

it seems like the focus has been more on “how do I make this happen” and “how do I get him to notice me?”

Here’s the thing:

Ideally, if you can truly believe something, it materializes,

And that’s that. Mission accomplished.

But what’s actually happening with you?

Aren’t you spinning in that endless loop?

And then he got married.

From an ego perspective, the fact that he’s married is incredibly painful. But from a subconscious perspective, I’d say that even when you were in unrequited love, you were actually creating this outcome all along.

In other words, you’ve simply become aware of “the reality I was creating.”

Every thought you have about him is coming from your ego

When you can recognize “the version of me that isn’t working,” you can also recognize “the version of me that is thriving.”

That’s the answer, but I get it—it’s hard to understand in the abstract. So for your situation, I think it would help to focus on two things:

Let’s start with the first one:

■Every single thought is coming from your ego

>My problems are special and really hard.

This is also ego.

Your heart reacted instantly and felt heavy, and now you’re probably thinking that no matter how you look at it, it must be true. But that’s not how it works. So start by catching yourself and thinking, “No matter how I look at this, I’m just having a reaction. It might be completely different from what I think.”

And here’s the truth: Just because “he got married” doesn’t mean “so it won’t work out.”

You say it’s complicated, but if you strip it down, “he got married” is just one simple event. (Whether that’s good or bad is irrelevant.)

It’s your ego that makes it complicated.

If we accept that ego isn’t really you, then all those reactions—all those thought patterns we listed above—honestly don’t matter. They have nothing to do with who you really are or what’s actually possible.

If a TV reporter came up to you and said, “It’s impossible because you did all that,” you’d think they were crazy, right?

But when your own ego says it, you believe it. That’s the trap.

What if you mattered more than he does?

But… look, I get it. He’s married. I completely understand why you feel like this isn’t the right time to talk about subconscious mind stuff.

So here’s what I want to suggest:

■Redirect all the mental energy you spend on him back toward yourself.

The reason I’m saying this is because for three years, you’ve been living like this:

“He matters more than I do!”

Right?

I’m going to be really direct here: You are the most important person in your entire universe. I’m not exaggerating.

Just like you assign meaning to “he got married” (interpreting it as good, bad, impossible, etc.), we all assign meaning to every event in our lives. We look at our world through a filter of our own beliefs and thoughts—”this is good, this is bad, I like this, I hate this, this happened before so it will happen again…”

In other words, we all see and live our lives the way we’ve decided to see them.

And so do you.

Which means? The way you see your world is completely unique to you. Your world only exists because you exist. If you disappeared, your entire world would disappear.

That’s why I said you’re the most important person in your universe—more important than anything or anyone else.

And if you’re placing someone else above the most important person (you)… well, the real you won’t accept that.

In other words,

It’s not going to work.

Lol

You’ve been telling him, “Why won’t you look at me?” but that message was really directed at yourself.

“Why won’t I look at myself?”

And maybe there’s a part of you that’s been neglecting the most important person—yourself.

This isn’t about beating yourself up over it.

I want you to take all that mental energy you spend thinking about him and start directing it toward yourself instead.

When you think about him and feel that rush of “I love you!!!”, I want you to turn it around and feel, “I love myself too!!!” That’s a good place to start.

You’re constantly thinking about him, and every time you do, your ego chimes in with “It won’t work anyway!” But I want you to let go of that garbage, drop it completely, and use all that thinking time to celebrate yourself instead.

If you stop thinking about him, nothing will happen. Or will it?

When things feel serious, you might be totally convinced of this:

If I stop thinking about him, nothing will happen.

But that’s not true.

The real truth is: Because you’re thinking negatively about him, you’re seeing a world where it doesn’t work out.

That’s why you need to cut all those thoughts about him loose. The only person you can actually influence is yourself.

When you finally release all those thoughts about him, you become “free.” And I mean that literally—because the thing you’ve been thinking about constantly is finally gone. Use all that freed-up mental energy on yourself. When you want to have coffee or go to a movie, sure, think of him—but make it about yourself, not about him.

Start thinking, “I’m the best in this universe!” and once you really feel that, everything shifts. And I mean everything lol

I’m here. I exist in this world. And in that world, I created the reality where he got married. How incredible is that? I’m the one who creates everything I experience! There’s nothing more amazing than this. Hahahaha.

It might not feel that way at first, but this kind of love for yourself—real love—will start showing up.

When it does, something funny happens: You might suddenly not understand why you were so attached to him in the first place, and you’ll just be like, “Huh, whatever.” Lol

Or maybe that’s not what happens. Either way, I think your life is going to look pretty amazing. When you start to genuinely believe that you’re incredible and worthy, you can circle back to thinking about how you want to be with him. There’s no rush. If you still feel like “He’s the only one for me,” then shift your focus to “What comes next? What else is possible?”

The real key is this: Focus on “what comes after it works out” instead of “how do I make it work.”

This isn’t hard either. You get to create freely—there’s no limit. What gets in your way is that spontaneous thinking (→which is why letting go of thoughts is key), or the part of you that’s been beaten down and can’t say, “No matter what anyone else says, I’m good with myself!” (→which is why self-love is key).

I’m rooting for you to have an even happier, more wonderful life ♡

I just uploaded a new video ♡

I’m sure it’ll work whether you’re attached or not, but a lot of people seemed interested in this topic, so I made a video about it.

[Part 6. Understand your subconscious mind] Attachment blocks manifestation—Is this true?