The Person Who Gets Hurt Is the One Creating the Hurt

Hello.
My main writing project is going absolutely crazy right now.
A whole different level of busy!!

But suddenly, I felt this mysterious sense of mission, “I have to write this!” so I decided to put it down on paper.

Have you ever felt angry or frustrated when your partner did something hurtful to you or said something cruel?
This is a story about how, in fact, I might have been the one who created it.

What does that mean!?

Did I make them do something hurtful?

A few months ago, a friend came to me for advice.

Her boyfriend started talking about breaking up, saying, “I want to be with someone who can definitely have children.” (She was furious)

What?

What a cruel thing to say! That’s what I thought. Well, they ended up working it out and becoming lovey-dovey again, so it’s funny how relationships work… As long as she’s happy, that’s what matters!

When I think back on it, I have examples too.

When I had a fight with a guy I was dating,

I was told, “Meguru’s work has nothing to do with basic survival needs!”

It really stung.

It’s true that my job of “creating books” isn’t directly connected to food, clothing, and shelter.

But I thought, why would you say it like that?

Another guy, during a fight, threw the sandwich I had lovingly made for his lunch right out the car window. How awful! (I was so angry) I cried and protested.

To me, these were unthinkable things being said to me, impossible things being done to me.

“Something terrible happened to me” and “I was cheated on” would probably rank high on this list too.

But……
From both a psychological and spiritual perspective:

I made it happen.

That’s what it comes down to.

If you’re currently experiencing something unpleasant being done or said to you, this might feel extremely uncomfortable, but please just try to consider for a moment that “everything that happens is a reflection of what’s in your heart.”

I’m not worthy enough to avoid being treated badly.

In psychological terms, this is called “projection” or the “mirror principle.”
The cause of everything that happens in your life is within yourself.

Picture this: So what’s really happening when someone says, “I want to be with someone who can definitely have children”?

Does it mean your friend wanted to be with someone who could have children?

Well, you could also look at it as if somewhere she was thinking, “I might not be able to have children,” or “What will I do if I can’t have children,” and then someone said something that confirmed her fears… Yes, exactly.

But if you look at it from a slightly bigger perspective, what if somewhere deep in your heart you feel that “I’m someone who gets treated badly”…?

According to the mirror principle, things will be said or done to you that confirm this belief.

Whether it’s cruel words about having children, or other situations where different people, different circumstances, and terrible things get said to you.

I have some thoughts that come to mind.

I believed I was someone who would have terrible things done to them.

I carried a lot of mysterious feelings of worthlessness, like, “That’s all I’m worth.”

I think the same goes for “I was cheated on.”

“I get terrible things done to me” was brilliantly proven in the form of “being cheated on.”

The mirror principle is simple.

I believe this connects to the fundamental idea of my life: “What I believe, happens.”

Because I believe I am worthless, things that match what I believe about my worthlessness will happen.”

I make them do hurtful things. Everything is self-created!

For “something hurtful being done to me” to be true, it’s necessary to “make someone close to me do something hurtful.”
In other words:

Wait, what?
That’s right.

This is completely self-created.

I thought I was being attacked!! But actually, I created it!!
There’s no real “opponent” there.

That’s why it’s pointless to try so hard to change the other person in these situations. After all, it’s the mirror principle.

Look in a mirror.

You can see your usual face.

Oops, the area under my nose is itchy.
Let me scratch it.

Now, someone trying to change the other person is like trying to scratch their reflection in the mirror.

It won’t work!
Even though they’re trying really hard,

it doesn’t work!!
It’s itchy, but scratching the mirror won’t help, it’s itchy, but scratching the mirror won’t help!

Of course not – all I had to do was scratch under my own nose.

Hurtful things were done, cruel things were said!! Do you understand that people who are angry about this are wasting their time trying to change the other person?

So what should you do?

Turn your attention to the beliefs within yourself, like “I get treated badly,” and “I’m so unworthy that I deserve bad treatment.”

That’s all.

Those thoughts will disappear once they’ve served their purpose.

“There’s no way feelings of worthlessness will go away that easily!” You may think so, but they will disappear.

I tried my best to explain today’s concept, but I realize it’s a little difficult to grasp at first.

I would be so happy if there’s someone who understands this.

Meguru