【065】U Discovered That When She Made the Decision to Make Herself Laugh, Her Ideal Boyfriend Appeared—Even Though She Felt Like Her Hard Work Wasn’t Being Rewarded

“I’m working so hard, so why isn’t it paying off?”

Are you spending your days feeling this way? You’re dieting, perfecting your makeup, waiting for his messages—and yet nothing changes. If you’re in that kind of situation, I’d like to share U’s wonderful success story with you today.

U’s Love Situation: 3 Years of Dating・A Breakup・1 Year of Reconciliation Efforts

U had been dating someone for about three years starting in 2018. After conflict over his relationships with other women, they broke up in November 2021. After the breakup, U felt a strong desire to reconcile, and thought, “Let me start by changing my appearance.” She began a 15kg weight loss journey and studied makeup.

But no matter how much effort she put in, her situation with him didn’t change at all.

A year later, in February 2023, she was able to see him every month. But his attitude remained careless. He’d leave her messages on read for three weeks, be late to every date, and when she told him “I love you,” he’d say “I love you too”—but avoid talking about reconciliation. Even though she was hurt, she kept going to see him.

And then U encountered a certain phrase that changed everything.

The Realization: “I’m Deliberately Hurting My Own Heart”

At Homéren, we often talk about the concept of “ego.” Ego refers to thoughts that react semi-automatically to situations. It’s like when something doesn’t happen (no message) and you think “This will never work,” or when you’re treated coldly and you think “I’m not needed”—when the events of reality pull you away from your true feelings and you react in ways that don’t match who you really are.

U reflected on herself, continuing to see him even though she knew it would hurt:

“It felt like I was deliberately hurting my own heart. I hated that about myself.”

When she was with him, painful feelings outnumbered joyful ones. There was a part of her that was forcing it. When she realized that, she could finally acknowledge her true feelings: “Maybe… I don’t actually want to reconcile.”

“I Want to Laugh from the Bottom of My Heart”—She Made This Decision

At Homéren, we often talk about “making a decision about your thoughts.” It’s not about figuring out how to make him fall for you—it’s about deciding who you want to be. The idea is that your inner decision comes first, and reality simply reflects it back to you.

U made this decision:

“I want to laugh from the bottom of my heart. I want to fall in love with someone who treasures me. And to do that, I’m going to start by making myself laugh.”

From that point on, she stopped all her efforts toward him. She spent time with friends she loved, took drives in her car, and went through a job change—and she simply moved through each day calmly and naturally.

Love at First Sight at Her New Job・Dating Within a Month

In October 2023, when U saw a senior colleague at her new company, she instantly thought, “I like this person.”

“It was like, ‘Where did all that desire for reconciliation go?'”

Even when he told her he didn’t want a girlfriend, U didn’t give up. She made up her mind: “I absolutely want to date him. I just have to do this.” She made a loose decision: “I’m happy no matter what happens.” She didn’t decide on specific details—because overthinking can lead to self-criticism—and instead just lived her life the way she wanted to.

Less than a month later, they started dating. Now she’s in a relationship where he communicates his feelings through his gestures, words, and actions every day. He treasures her family and friends too, and she feels safe and secure with him.

Summary: When She Stopped “Working Hard to Be Rewarded,” Everything Changed

What U’s story reveals is a shift in the direction of her effort.

• Her hard work was no longer “efforts to make him notice me,” but rather “actions that made her laugh”
• She stopped trying to confirm in reality “whether reconciliation would happen”
• She made a loose decision: “I’m happy no matter what happens,” and then simply lived her life the way she wanted to

This isn’t to say “effort doesn’t work.” U made a decision and fully devoted herself to looking inward. It’s just that her focus wasn’t on him—it was on herself.

For the full story of her success, please watch the video. Every word U speaks is filled with powerful insights.