"I want to go to Hawaii next time."
"When we get married, let's buy a house."
"I want two children."
``I want to go abroad for about a week this summer vacation.''
He says a lot of nice things to me, but never takes action. Or her.
Don't you feel happy at first, but if it doesn't materialize over time, you start to worry and become anxious?
Iruru was the type of person who easily became anxious unless his thoughts became reality.
Most romance books say that ``a man's true feelings are revealed in his actions,'' and there are many articles in the e-mail magazine ``Onna no Ko Mochi'', the predecessor of Home♡Ren, that say so. I'll try to excerpt some of them!
Y-ko said that she had canceled her entire schedule to accommodate her boyfriend who never made any plans for the holidays, saying, ``I don't know yet,'' but in the end, we couldn't see each other even one day, and she wasted her precious vacation.
As she listened to Y-ko's story, it seems that similar things happen often, and even on the usual weekends, it's the last minute, and if things go wrong, plans aren't decided until the day itself.
So when I ask Y-ko, ``Are you free for X days?'', she often replies, ``She would like to meet her boyfriend if she can meet him, but she doesn't know yet.''
Looking at her, she seems to be holding back quite a bit to fit in with her boyfriend. Even though she is a woman who has a wide circle of friends and values her private time by going to concerts, museums, exhibitions, and theaters...
In this article, it's negative about "talkative men" who don't have a set schedule.
I, too, was crying and blaming him and trying to get him to set a deadline for action.
If you are reading this article, what would you do if you had a lover like that?
Is it true that “he doesn’t act”?
If you are reading this right now and are feeling such a painful feeling, first of all, praise yourself for loving your lover so much that it makes you feel such a painful feeling.
I love something so much that it becomes painful.
It's wonderful to be able to love one person that much.
Then, take a deep breath, feel a little warmth in your stomach, and think about it.
Is that "boyfriend/girlfriend who isn't acting" real?
You are the one who created him
You may be the one who is creating a boyfriend or girlfriend who is (or appears to be) not acting.
I would like you to think about this for a moment.
Never blame yourself.
You are experiencing painful feelings because of your ``boyfriend/girlfriend'' who is not acting, but is it really his fault?
What do I mean...
he said let's go on a trip
↓
he doesn't act
↓
If I forget, maybe I'm not valued enough?
↓
Maybe there's someone more important than me ↓ Maybe they don't like me that much anymore
↓
I bought a love book that says it's better to break up with a guy who doesn't take action. Maybe I should break up with him too.
↓
・・・・
There are many, many cases like this where you think it's ``his behavior,'' but you just don't realize it and are actually suffering because of ``your own assumptions.''
When your thoughts are spinning and you're having a hard time, I recommend trying to organize your feelings at least once.
Organizing things will calm you down.
However, I don't recommend doing it every day because you'll end up thinking a lot of negative things.
The ultimate recommendation is, as Meguru says, ``just don't think about it in the first place.
Have an opportunity to change your mood
But you know. I think I'll think about it because I'm curious.
However, if thinking about it doesn't seem to be going in the right direction, I think it's better to think about how you can stop thinking about it.
What I often do when I get frustrated like that is to do ``ho'oponopono.''
"thank you"
"I love you"
"sorry"
"forgive me"
It's like chanting something in your mind like a spell, without any target in mind.
This was effective for me. I also think meditation would be a good idea.
I also recommend taking a bath, getting a massage, or doing something that will make you feel comfortable without using your brain.
If you have a sport that involves two or more people, or a hobby or job that you can immerse yourself in, that's fine.
A spell that says, ``If you do this, you'll feel better.''
It will be easier if you decide on your own method of maneuvering.
When you're worried and can't help it
Still, even if I know it in my head,
You can't help but worry about it, and even if you think the other person is no good, you end up blaming them.
At times like that, even if you know you don't want to do something or have to do it, you still do it.
Sometimes that happens.
When that happens, instead of feeling depressed and thinking, "Oh, I did it again..."
Praise him and say, ``I love him so much, and you did your best despite the hardships. That's great!''
People who blame others often blame themselves as well.
If he is kind to himself, he will stop blaming others.
Personally, I'd start with this.
If you can praise yourself, he will gradually start doing what you want.
Don't blame yourself. Be kind to yourself.
If you just pay attention to that, you will realize that you can be kind to everyone.
May miracles happen in everyone's love life!
