【055】How People Who Successfully Reconcile Think About Love——Why It Happened Even While Holding On, Even While Reality Wasn’t Moving

“I’m practicing the subconscious mind, but my reality isn’t changing at all.”
“I can’t let go of my attachment. I keep getting anxious. Can this really come true in this state?”

I want to share a success story with those of you feeling this way.

Today I’m introducing the reconciliation success of T-san (30s), ほめ♡レン’s first male reporter.

---

T-san’s Situation——Meeting His “80% Perfect Match” After Divorce

T-san divorced in October 2022. His marriage lasted one year, but including their dating period, they had been together for 8 years.

T-san describes himself as having been a “dyed-in-the-wool pessimist” from the start. Thoughts like “It won’t work anyway” and “Good things last only a moment, then there’s only suffering” were deeply ingrained. However, his divorce became a turning point. He decided, “From now on, I’m going to live positively.” While watching law of attraction videos, he discovered ほめ♡レン.

---

The Person on His Ideal Girlfriend List Actually Appeared

T-san recalls: “I went about my days thinking that the person I wrote on my ideal girlfriend list was waiting for me.” That list was incredibly specific.

Height 153cm, drives a white compact car, not a morning person, gamer, beautiful jawline, beautiful side profile…

At a massage shop he randomly visited for the first time in his life—because his body felt heavy—the therapist who treated him was that girlfriend. 80% of his list matched her.

“I got along better with her than anyone I’d dated before, and we had the best relationship,” T-san reflects.

---

The “2% Mismatch” Brought the Breakup

But after a few months, they broke up.

The cause was becoming fixated on the “2% that didn’t match” on his list. “I was blaming her in my heart, thinking ‘Why won’t she do this?'” T-san says.

What you think in your heart shows in your attitude. She sensed it and said, “I don’t want to keep hoping and being disappointed,” and ended the relationship.

This is the same as the state where “he has so many good points, yet somehow only his bad points catch my eye.” In the world of the subconscious mind, it’s said that when you focus on lack, you attract lack. T-san’s experience teaches us this reality vividly.

---

Even Deciding to Think “Girlfriend and I Are Super In Love,” Reality Didn’t Move

Right after the breakup, T-san immediately “made a decision about his thoughts.”

“Making a decision about your thoughts” is the core of ほめ♡レン’s subconscious mind practice—deciding within yourself a state of “I am ○○.” Rather than thinking about the process, it’s simply holding the thought “this is how it is.”

“Girlfriend and I are super in love”——he added “super” meaning they’d have an even better relationship for each other than before.

For the next 3 months, T-san battled with his “ego.”

“Ego” is the negative reaction that arises semi-automatically in response to events. It’s a thought pattern that reacts automatically from past experiences and beliefs—like “nothing’s happening = it’s impossible now.”

T-san says he was crying out in his heart every day: “Why isn’t anything moving when I’m trying this hard to calm my mind and set my intention?”

Every day he watched videos, read blogs, meditated. Every morning the anxiety returned——this went on for 3 months.

---

The Moment He Thought “I Give Up,” Reality Moved

After 3 months, T-san thought this:

“If nothing’s happened even though I’ve been thinking about this constantly, maybe it really can’t come true. I should give up completely. Never mind, whatever.”

He contacted her to pick up belongings he’d left at her place. Until then, he couldn’t do this because “it felt like everything would end once I picked them up.”

A few hours later, she called him.

After a cheerful conversation, he decided to confess his feelings about reconciliation over the phone, and heard the words: “You’re special, T.”

The thought T-san had been secretly holding——”I wish she’d think I’m special”——appeared as her actual words.

---

Why It Came True “While Still Attached, While Still Unsettled”

T-san himself says, “I think there was a self-effort element too.” He didn’t perfectly practice the subconscious mind approach that ほめ♡レン teaches.

But it came true.

The reason is simple. The thought “Girlfriend and I are super in love” existed for those 3 months straight.

No matter how much the ego raged, no matter how strong the attachment was, the fact that the thought existed didn’t change. Even unsettled, the thought never wavered. That was everything.

---

Summary: Even If Reality Doesn’t Move, If You Have the Thought, That’s Already Enough

From T-san’s report, what becomes clear is:

• If your ideal list has high precision, reality will respond to it
• The ego that focuses on lack is the identity of an unfulfilled reality
• Even with attachment and anxiety, the fact that “you have the thought” doesn’t disappear
• Even “giving up” as a complete surrender can move reality if done while holding the thought