Q&A #13: Can I Change Him Through Belief? Manifesting His Transformation

From M

If I decide it’s true, will he change? I really love him, but there’s one thing I want him to change. I just can’t accept it, and I want to get back together if he changes that one thing.

“What you believe becomes reality” – Does this work for changing him too?

Hello, I’m Iruru from this blog.

For newcomers, here’s the foundation: The law of the subconscious mind is simple – “You attract what you believe.” Once you’ve decided what you want, you’re already living as the person whose desires are fulfilled. That’s it.

We got this question during a recent live stream, and many of you wonder: “If believing makes it happen, does that mean he’ll change if I believe he will?” What do you think?

The subject of “You attract what you believe” is YOU.

First, let’s be clear: “You attract what you believe” applies to YOU. You become what you believe because that’s how your mind works. You can’t directly change him.

However, when you embody your new belief, you might notice that circumstances around you shift as a result.

For example, imagine I decided “We’re so in love and happy together!” and we got back together. After reuniting, even though he used to be unfaithful, he completely transformed and became devoted to me! I might think, “Wow, he even changed that trait I wanted him to change.”

Or maybe I decided “We’re so in love and happy!” and he was living with someone new, but somehow they broke up and he started dating me instead. In situations like this, I might think, “The circumstances shifted perfectly so we could be together.”

The key decision was “He and I are in love and happy!” So when you make up your mind, decide from your perspective – like “I am loved and happy with him” – rather than focusing on him, like “He will break up with his girlfriend!”

Do you truly embody the version of yourself where everything worked out?

On this blog, we always say: once you’ve decided, just enjoy being the version of yourself where everything has already happened.

Think about this for a moment: if you were already the version of yourself where everything came true, would you think “I want him to change”?

Probably not.

So consider what the happiest, most fulfilled version of yourself would be like, and decide from that place.

There’s no need to focus on what’s wrong.

Continuing to think “I want him to change” might, according to the law of the subconscious mind – “You attract what you believe” – keep you in a loop of wanting change. Plus, wanting him to change means he hasn’t changed yet, which keeps you focused on current unfulfilled reality. Making decisions while fixated on what’s lacking seems like the long way around when it comes to manifesting through the subconscious mind.

Simply decide on the best outcome you can imagine for yourself. Regardless of how he is right now, deciding to be in love and happy with him seems much simpler and more effective, don’t you think?

If you want someone to change so much, maybe consider someone else?

Also, if it’s really that hard to accept, personally, I think you might want to consider being with someone else.

Because if someone said to me, “I want Iruru to change this one thing before we get back together!” I’d feel restricted and uncomfortable.

That said, I used to want him to change a lot of things. I’d tell him “I want you to do it this way,” “I want you to do it like that,” “I want you to stop doing this,” and we’d argue constantly. Back then, I thought it was normal for him to adapt if we were in a relationship, but looking back, I was putting a lot of restrictions on my partner.

So I totally understand wanting someone to change.

Even if there are things you don’t like about him, if you still love him, just decide to be “in love and happy with him!” regardless of whether he changes or not. Then continue enjoying your daily life as the version of yourself where everything worked out!

Here’s the explanatory video. I also talk about this on YouTube, so please check it out!

 

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