You’ve Made Up Your Mind — So Why Does Reality Shake You?

Hello. I am Iruru.

Subconscious manifestation works because you attract what you truly believe. It’s that simple.

When someone dreams of getting married decides to “choose their thoughts,” they might say, “I’ve decided to believe he’s madly in love with me!

In my mind, we’re crazy about each other, he’s already proposed, and I’m absolutely blissful!” And so on.

But then reality hits. You set up a date and meet him,
and he seems… distant. You’ve committed to your vision, but you can’t shake the feeling that a proposal isn’t anywhere on his radar. Nothing feels authentic! Will this actually work?

We constantly hear from people caught in this push-and-pull between their inner knowing and what’s staring them in the face.

Sound familiar? Today, I want to explore this exact situation – when reality threatens to cloud your clarity even after you’ve made your choice.

Why reality can shake your confidence when you’re trying to shift things

Looking at the questions you send us, I’ve noticed something: even when you’ve made your decision, reality tends to rattle you most when you’re hoping he’ll act differently or transform somehow, or when you can’t help but fixate on what’s unfolding right in front of you. It’s much easier to think “he hasn’t changed a bit” when you’re trying to change him – and that’s exactly when the confusion kicks in.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you decide, “My boyfriend is going to propose!” But when you’re actually with him, you start hunting for clues about whether he’s planning to pop the question, and boom – you’ve slipped right back into “reality checking mode.” You might catch yourself thinking, “He’s definitely not proposing! But I already decided he would!”

How to hold onto your vision when reality feels overwhelming

Your thoughts create what’s coming next.

We also suggest “deciding your ending” when you’re making this choice. The magic of deciding your future is that once you choose it, you’ve essentially already accomplished your goal, which lets you transform your present experience. You can hand over the entire journey to your subconscious mind until it shows up in your life.

For example, maybe you think, “He barely texts me, so I want him to reach out more often.”

But imagine if you grew closer and fell even deeper in love – you might think, “I’d be over the moon if he moved in with me,” or “I probably wouldn’t even care about texting if we could chat face-to-face every day.” Makes sense, right? If your relationship had already evolved, you might not give two thoughts to how often he contacts you – you’d just be head-over-heels and blissfully happy together.

I want you to decide what you want to feel and ask yourself, “Who will I be when this is my reality?” I want you to picture the version of yourself living in that future. You don’t need to map out every step between now and then – that’s way beyond what you need to figure out. It doesn’t matter what he’s saying today or what his current situation looks like. The only thing that matters is your decision about where you’re headed, and since you’ve chosen that destination, you can trust your subconscious to handle everything else. When you think this way, don’t you feel like you could stay calm and centered no matter what unfolds in front of you?

Your thoughts shape who you become

I also suggest deciding what kind of “you” you’ll be when your dream comes true, putting yourself at the center. For instance, if you decide you are “the woman he adores,” I want you to think about who you’ll be in that state.

Maybe something like, “I’m at peace, I’m confident, my friendships are amazing, and my career is thriving.” If detailed visualization isn’t your strength, try thinking, “I’m peaceful, confident, my friendships are incredible, work is flowing beautifully, my health is vibrant, I’m wearing that gorgeous designer dress I’ve been eyeing and enjoying romantic dinners at stunning restaurants with my love.” If specifics feel challenging, just imagine “me glowing and beaming with joy!” Even something that general works perfectly.

From this moment forward, try to embody that version of yourself as much as possible. Think about it – there are so many things you can do right now about “yourself” – like nurturing your health or smiling more often, right? This way, you can start living as your fulfilled self while discovering the “fulfilled self-image” that resonates with you.

Even though he might not be physically present right now, I believe embodying “who you are when you’re in love with him” is incredibly enriching for your entire life. And I think it will help you stay anchored in your fulfilled self instead of getting swept up in ego drama when challenges arise later! I believe this approach will be so enriching for your life.

If reality feels confusing, should you stop seeing him?

If meeting him in person leaves you confused, is it better to avoid seeing him? We hear this question all the time. Honestly, both choices work. If you want to spend time with him, go for it. If you think avoiding him would make things easier, then that’s probably the better path.

Personally, when things got rocky with someone I was dating, and even though I was supposed to care about him, we kept clashing, I would take a step back, stop seeing him, and let my subconscious decide what would unfold next.

There was a period when I focused on aligning my inner world. During that time, a new love interest appeared who was exactly what I’d been dreaming of, and I felt absolutely incredible as a result. Neither path is superior to the other, so tune into your feelings, ask yourself what feels right, and then choose accordingly.

Iruru