【061】Dependent on 3 Breakup Coaches, Mental Health Declined → When I Decided “I Won’t Treat Myself Poorly Anymore,” My Ideal Boyfriend Appeared | Love Manifestation Through the Subconscious Mind

“I spent hundreds of thousands of yen on coaching and workshops to get back together with my ex, but somehow my feelings kept getting more painful.”

Have you ever experienced something like this?

Today, I’m sharing the story of Ms. S (in her 30s), whose experience took her from depending on 3 breakup coaches and experiencing mental deterioration to the point of emergency resignation, all the way to the appearance of her ideal boyfriend—sparked by a single decision: “I won’t treat myself poorly anymore.”

Ms. S’s Situation: Handsome Boyfriend’s Infidelity → Reconciliation Efforts → Dark Period

Ms. S started dating a stunningly handsome man—celebrity-level good looks—whom she met on a matching app. At first, he was kind and attentive, but as Ms. S grew anxious, thinking “Why would someone this handsome like me?” and “Am I being played?”, the relationship shifted. She discovered evidence of his infidelity and they broke up.

Right after the breakup, Ms. S thought “It’s because he’s too handsome,” but later realized, “I was putting myself down, so that’s how I ended up being treated.”

After that, wanting to reconcile and change herself, Ms. S contracted sessions with 3 coaches simultaneously—breakup coaches and self-love coaches. However, the more work she did, the more painful her feelings became. Both her physical energy and mental health deteriorated. She ended up in emergency resignation from her previous position of responsibility.

Why Does Work and Methodology Cause Pain?

The “subconscious mind” that Homéren teaches about is not something you change reality through by completing methods and work. The philosophy is that “deciding your thoughts comes first, and reality simply reflects that.”

Ms. S reflected, “I was dependent on work and methodology, thinking ‘If I do this, it will come true.'” As long as you believe in the structure of “do it and it comes true,” you keep creating “myself doing it but it’s not coming true.” This constantly reinforces the ego (reactive thinking that isn’t your true intention).

※What is ego: Thinking that automatically reacts to events, like “No contact → It’s impossible now.” At Homéren, we teach that the ego is just “throw it away, in one ear and out the other.”

When Ms. S learned about Homéren, she felt “The subconscious mind is this simple? This laid-back? I could laugh again”—perhaps because for the first time, she felt “There’s nothing I have to do.”

The Turning Point: The Realization “I Didn’t Actually Want Reconciliation”

Ms. S’s turning point came when she discovered her true feelings.

“I didn’t actually want to reconcile with him. I wanted to go back to who I was before I met him—energetic, bright, fun, and able to live trusting in my own strength.”

As she spoke these words, Ms. S cried and told herself, “I’m sorry. You’ve been through so much. I won’t do that anymore.”

From that point on, Ms. S decided on her way of being: “I’ll live coolly, clearly, and joyfully.” It was the moment her focus shifted from an external goal of reconciliation to an internal thought about what kind of person she wanted to be.

Ideal Boyfriend List of 53 Items → A Boyfriend Matching All of Them Appeared

Ms. S wrote out 53 items on her ideal boyfriend list, thinking, “If someone who loves ‘me living coolly, clearly, and joyfully’ confesses to me, maybe I’ll give them a chance.”

Here are some items from the list:

• Works in a job involving lots of contact with people
• Gets clingy with me and pampers me too
• We’re fun together as a pair
• Chooses his words gently
• Gets along well with his family
• Lives clearly and lives a way that he himself thinks is cool
• Always compliments me and adores me

After that, as Ms. S threw herself into work, immersed herself in hobbies, and spent joyful time with family and friends, a man who had already sent her a like on a matching app caught her eye. When she called him, they hit it off immediately, talking for 7 hours straight.

A week later, when they met in person, he hugged her and said, “Let’s be together forever,” proposing to be her boyfriend. Remarkably, he had researched her birthday before meeting her and had already surprise-booked a hotel she’d always wanted to stay at. The birth of her doting boyfriend—9 years younger.

What Ms. S Shared at the End

“Even I, who was so mentally ill I wanted to die, had that much power, so you all must have even more. Please live being yourself and having fun.”

Ms. S says this. What she changed wasn’t her external circumstances, but only “what kind of person she was going to be” in her mind.

Summary

What Ms. S’s experience reveals is this:

• Dependence on coaching and work was creating suffering
• A shift from the external goal of “I want reconciliation” to the internal thought of “being myself”
• The decision “I won’t treat myself poorly anymore” became the turning point
• When she wrote out her ideal boyfriend list, a boyfriend matching all of it appeared