【096】Obsessed With Him, She Got Dumped—But After Over a Year of No Contact, She Got Back Together

“It’s been over a year since we stopped talking. Maybe it’s impossible now.”

If that’s how you’re feeling, I want to share C’s reconciliation story with you today.

After a complete 1 year and 3 month gap, C got back together with her boyfriend—but the thing she changed wasn’t her approach to him. The only thing she changed was how she treated herself.

What Was Happening to C

C, a woman in her 30s, started dating her boyfriend in January 2021 after meeting him at a basketball circle. Since it was her first relationship in 5 years, she was in “I want to see him every day” mode.

She always texted first. When he was cold to her, she’d torture herself: “Did I come on too strong? Does he hate me? What’s the point of me being alive?” Meanwhile, there was a female senior in the circle who was close with him. C would compare herself to her, feel down, then think about him all over again.

In May 2022, he told her “Let’s break up” with just those words. Even after that, she kept waiting, hoping for a casual relationship at least. But his replies were always “I have plans today” or “I’m busy, sorry.” In September that year, C finally cut off contact with him.

What Is the Ego—What C Realized

Let me explain “ego” briefly here.

The ego is a way of thinking that reacts semi-automatically to events. “He didn’t contact me → it’s hopeless” or “He’s talking to someone else → he likes her more than me”—these reactions aren’t your true feelings. They’re automatic responses born from past experiences and anxiety.

C put it this way: “My ego was incredible. I was basically married to my ego.”

Every time something happened, her ego would emerge, linking her boyfriend with the female senior, and she’d cry her heart out. But then C discovered ほめ♡レン, and she began to change little by little.

What Is Self-Love—What C Put Into Practice

“Self-love” is simply about treasuring yourself. There’s no need to do anything grandiose—it’s about not blaming yourself, forgiving yourself, and speaking to yourself with kindness.

What C did was write in a notebook: “I’m cute,” “There are so many people who think I’m cute.” At first, she resisted. But as she kept writing, her notebook filled with words of self-adoration.

When ego emerged, she’d let it pass by saying “Thanks for the advice.” She’d say out loud, “He likes me, so it can’t be helped.” When she was crying, she’d talk to herself: “It’s okay to cry, it’s alright.” This was C’s self-love.

“I grew up being scolded, so I realized that forgiving myself became like a medicine that eased both my heart and my body,” C says.

What Does It Mean to “Decide Your Thoughts”?

In manifesting love through the subconscious mind, “deciding your thoughts” is a core principle of ほめ♡レン. The idea is: decide your thoughts like “Me and him are in love,” and reality will simply reflect that—that’s the concept.

C arrived at a slightly unique thought: “Whether it’s him or not, I can be happy.”

She didn’t give up on him; she became someone who wasn’t attached to him. This was the moment C “decided her thoughts.”

What Happened 1 Year and 3 Months Later

In November 2023, C and her boyfriend reunited at a circle tournament. He approached her asking, “Want to grab dinner?” She went along with it casually, thinking “I have time anyway.”

After that, they started going out more often. They spent time together on trips, Christmas, and New Year’s. In January 2025, he confided something in her.

“You’ve always been by my side watching me. You believed in me. Because you’re C, I felt I had to tell you. I want to be with you going forward.”

They got back together. But this is how C feels about it: “We’re technically reconciling, but it feels like we’re restarting as new versions of ourselves.”

She has a real sense that she’s become a different person. He’s showing her a different side of himself too. Though they’re the same two people, it feels like a completely new relationship has begun—and that, C says, is the power of self-love.

Summary—Periods of No Contact Are “Time Spent Trusting in the Universe”

What I want to convey through C’s story is simple.

No matter how long the gap is, it doesn’t matter. The period of no contact isn’t “proof that things aren’t working out”—it was time to return to yourself.

• When ego emerged, she could let it go saying “Thanks for that”
• She kept writing words of self-praise in her notebook
• She arrived at the thought “I can be happy”

These are the only things C changed. She made absolutely no effort to approach her boyfriend.

“Even someone like me—negative, full of complexes, hating myself—could become like this, so you’ll be okay too,” C says. I’m passing her words on to you exactly as they are.

You can watch C’s full story in our video. Please check it out!

📺 Obsessed With Him, Got Dumped—But After Over a Year of No Contact, Reconciled❤ Restarted as New Versions of Ourselves!