【095】I Made My Married Crush My “Ideal Partner,” Set It and Forgot About It—Then He Got Divorced and We Started Dating. The Subconscious Mind and Your Ideal Partner List

Have you ever given up on someone because you thought, “I’m interested in them, but they’re already married”?

Among the success stories shared with ほめ♡レン, there’s a report from someone who decided four years ago to “tuck away this married man as my ideal partner in my heart”—and later, after he divorced, they started dating.

In this article, based on A’s success story, we’ll uncover the relationship between the subconscious mind and manifesting love.

What Happened to A: A Four-Year Journey to Success

In 2021, A met T through an online community. At the time, T was married. Since A had even become friends with his wife, she decided to “keep her distance and hold onto him in her heart as my ideal partner image”—because they had the same sense of humor.

After that, A developed feelings for someone else and moved to a tropical country. While studying abroad, she fell in love again, only to experience heartbreak. After being hurt repeatedly, A thought, “I want to understand what the real issue is”—and discovered ほめ♡レン videos.

While repeatedly watching success story videos, A wrote out 90 items on her ideal partner list.

• He dries my hair with a hair dryer for me
• He makes me laugh
• He seems happy when I’m happy
• He hugs me at the beginning and end of every date

As A continued writing out such specific items on her list, she spent her days immersed in the feeling of “I’m happy even without a partner.”

In September 2024, A received a message from T about a movie. T had gotten divorced. As their messages continued daily, even when T told her “there’s someone I’m interested in,” A thought:

“This person is definitely going to be my boyfriend. Because I think that way, it will happen.”

A naturally gave T romantic advice and cheered him on. The day T experienced heartbreak and called her for comfort, their nightly phone calls began. In December 2024, they officially started dating. Out of the 90 items on her ideal partner list, 81 matched him perfectly.

What Does It Mean to “Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs”?

ほめ♡レン places great importance on the concept of “ego.”

Ego is the kind of thinking that reacts semi-automatically to events—like “he hasn’t texted me → maybe it’s hopeless” or “he’s married → I have no choice but to give up.” It’s a reaction based on past experiences and conventional wisdom, separate from what you truly want.

Looking back, A realized she had a limiting belief: “Someone like me could never be happy.” Recognizing this belief became the starting point for her next level of consciousness.

Just recognizing it is enough. The moment you recognize it, you’re no longer being controlled by ego.

Your Ideal Partner List Isn’t a “Task to Accomplish”

People often approach the ideal partner list thinking, “if I write it, it will come true”—as if it’s a step-by-step process. But that’s not what ほめ♡レン teaches.

A wrote her list at the lowest point after heartbreak. She started writing it with a light, casual mindset of “why not try this?”—and that list led her to the feeling of “I’m happy even without a partner.”

The purpose isn’t the act of writing the list itself. Rather, it’s touching upon the thought of “who do I want to be with, and how do I want to be?”—and that’s what shifts your consciousness.

Why She Didn’t Waver When He Said “There’s Someone I’m Interested In”

When your mind is made up, real-world events become background noise.

When T told her “there’s someone I’m interested in,” A didn’t waver. It wasn’t stubbornness or endurance—it came naturally from her conviction: “Let me just decide he’s my boyfriend now. Because I think that way, it will be that way.”

This is what ほめ♡レン calls “the way of being of someone who has made up their mind.”

Summary: When You Decide Your Thoughts, Reality Reflects Them Back

What emerges from A’s story:

• Recognizing the limiting belief “someone like me could never be happy”
• Writing her ideal partner list and touching upon the feeling of “I’m happy even without a partner”
• Deciding “this person is going to be my boyfriend” and not wavering at the real-world events that followed

ほめ♡レン says, “just decide your thoughts.” No matter what reality looks like, the moment you decide your thoughts, you’re already living in that world. Reality simply reflects your thoughts back to you afterward.

For more details, please watch the video and hear A’s own words.

📺 I Set My Married Crush as My “Ideal Partner” and Let It Go. After a Devastating Heartbreak with Someone Else, I Created My Ideal Partner List—and My Married Crush Got Divorced and We Started Dating!❣️